Oh! Christmas...

Hello there...

I've been battling much here lately. Nothing sad or dreadful- just the usual Bustle that beats it's way into my life this time of year. I'll admit, that I look forward to Christmas... with it's Magic, it's smell... the Cozy that hard effort provides. But then it starts. December 1st. Then 4th and 10th... and now December 16th. Half way through the season, and what do I have to show for it?

My To.Do list has some scribbles and checks, which is a good sign... but at this exact moment, my life is hanging between the balance of Holiday Magic and The Daily Grind. Of course, each year I promise myself to limit this and that... keep my stress levels low and my spirits high. And every year I fall somewhere on that scale between Missed.the.Boat and Utter.Success. So far, I'm treading water... holding my own... with lots having been accomplished, and lots left to do. The shopping is nearly complete. I've got much of it wrapped and ready- and waiting for the rest to be delivered on our Christmas.stoop. I've got the boys ready for a Christmas shoot. Our annual 'look at us now' effort to document who they are at this very moment in time. My Christmas cookie list has populated itself... and I look forward to working that out in my kitchen as my boys look on with hungry eyes and sticky fingers. My bed is still unmade... :)

Things are different this year, though. James is decoding all this Christmas business and asking lots of questions and trying to figure it all out. He's so excited. Everything seems to amaze him! It's precious. His level of excitement directly coorelates to the volume of his voice. And since everyday he experiences something 'new' our Little.Nest gets louder and louder. It's adorable. He is my little Christmas boy... He made me a mother nearly 4 Christmases ago. The season hasn't been the same since. My little Rocky.Horse... My little Gingerbread.Boy...

Of course he had his annual photoshoot with Santa again this year. Same time, each year, same Santa. He gets to ride in Santa's sleigh and spend a whole evening with the guy. I believe he wished for a piano this year. :)





It's theDucklings FIRST Christmas... oh, that child! He is crawling, pushing, and scooting everywhere now. I love it. He's so fat and luscious. We tend to gather him up and tuck in to his warm.buttery.goodness. Our little Figgy.Pudding... :)


TheHotness is winding down his week, ready for his Christmas holiday. Two full weeks home with us... waking up together, sharing coffee and breakfast. *I can't wait*

Mustard.Seed is quiet for now, until the first week of January. I've been so busy. It's been magical. I'll release my website the first of January! I can't wait to share it... :)

I'm hoping to blog more now I'm caught up on things. I'm also getting the details for James' birthday lined out. My little Wild Thing is going to have quite the Wild Rumpus here in a few weeks...

Merry Christmas, lovelies... I hope in your corner of this Life, all is Merry and Bright.

Peace, love, and hazelnut.
xo
lmkw

The Seventh Month...

But first, here is theDuckling in his sixth month.


And now? He's seven.months.perfect.







Oh! Our sweet little milk.and.honey... He's such a genuine little guy. Happy all the time. Easy going like his daddy. We generally just gather around him and stare. James loves him so much. "Momma, don't you think our bebe is spectacula?" *sigh* He certainly is...

Peace, love, and sugar.
xo
lmkw

Thanksgiving, in particular...

The details of The Day are as follows...

Generally, our Thanksgiving Feast is held at my sister's house. However, this year she was recovering from surgery and Momma had a brand.spankin.new.custom.cypress dinner table. It's a big deal- the table, not the surgery. My mother loves beautiful things... She loves them so much that unless she finds that perfect addition, she would rather go without. The apple didn't fall far. Anywho, with much begging and pleading, we convinced Carlie to let us temporarily give Thanksgiving to Mother. Just this year. Just this one year. Carlie needed the R&R. And to make this perfectly clear in blogland, Momma having a table is a really big deal in our world... deserving of a proper feast. :)

There were the usual players- my parents, my Aunt and Uncle and Cousin+Fiance... Carlie, Wes, and the kids... and TBOY! Tboy was in town with his perfect.my.favorite.ever girlfriend and Dixie, his puppers. I loved having him home and didn't nearly get enough time with him. He got a kick out of Jackson and James... and spent the entire day holding one and tackling the other- not at the same time, you understand. I wish he were here all the time...


We truly had a feast! Fried turkey, praline sweet potatoes, my.fav.pea.salad, green bean casserole, Momma's corn bread dressin', my Grandmother's ambrosia and cranberry salad... I'm missing something... Then on to dessert, with which I take full credit. Individual pumpkin and apple pocket pies, chocolate Italian cream cake, gingerbread turkeys... and other yummies that I'm forgetting.



I loved the day, the food, the people, and the football game afterwards. It's fun to get outside and play like a boy. Our kids (Carlie's and mine) were so much stinkin' fun... and when theHotness picked me up and twirled me around in the air to 'tackle' me I felt like a girl again. He's a mountain.of.a.man and I love it when he reminds me. Carlie propped theDuckling up against the picture window to watch us. James would drop his shoulder and tackle anything in his path- regardless what his mother said. The men loved this. He was in Heaven. In that moment, we all were.

Peace, love, and grass.stains,
xo
lmkw

More than I could imagine...

I've been waiting for this post! I'm so excited to share my heart and be puff*chest*proud about where my career is going and where God shows up in things.

Mustard.seed.photography is definitely off the ground and running. I can't hardly believe how many people are wanting me (ME) to capture Beautiful in their lives... I'm over.the.moon with all this possibility swirling around. I'm booked clear through the rest of the year... and now my Spring dates filling in!!! holy.cow

What an honor!

Here is my most recent work:










These are just sneak peeks I've sent my clients... I'm tickled to be sitting on a whole heap of special images. So dadgum grateful. So happy. That counts for a lot. :)

Peace, love, and limit.less skies,
xo
lmkw

The Overflow

The theme for 2009 in my little heart has been Abundance. From the smallest things to the largest treasures, we've been blessed. It's time to sit down and spell it all out...

***
I'm thankful for my beautiful.bebe.brother. He came in town this year with his wonderful girlfriend. It was his first time to meet Jackson.Briggs! When he was holding him, it was hard to choose who was prettier...





I'm thankful that Opposites.Attract... TheHotness gets homemade sammich bread and I get the assurance that our budget will be balanced and bills will be paid. I will talk, tend, and solve. He will listen, comfort, and protect. I am up.in.the.air.passionate and he is down.to.earth.steady.

I am thankful for my life's Soundtrack:
-mouth.breathing.bebies
-the sound of the potty being flushed by an independent little boy
-a dishwasher that offers Help as long as I fill the cup and push the button
-the way James says 'lets riiiide cliiiive' when we back down the driveway... and the silence that follows when no one corrects him to tell him it's lets ride clyde
-the little secrets that the bebe monitor picks up when theHotness is feeding his son, or whispering to him as he changes his diapers
-philosophies that James bestows on his brother when he climbs in to his crib after nap time
-the sound of the garbage truck picking up the garbage twice weekly, and how good it feels to know that I don't ever have to worry about getting the trash to the road. One honest responsibility I don't have to carry...
-the shuffle feature on my ipod... and how each song is a perfectly delightful surprise.

I'm thankful for bulk diapers and wipes... and how indulgent it feels to file them all away somewhere.

I'm thankful when the boys go to bed easy.

I'm thankful that I get to be the second.line.of.defense at bedtime... The clean.up.crew after theHotness does the heavy lifting putting the boys to bed.

I'm thankful the grace that is given when I forget a load of laundry in the washing machine... and how at the press of a button, the machine will re.wash my mistake and no one is ever the wiser.

I'm thankful for a full pantry, full fridge, and full bellies.

I'm thankful for My First... My James Neal... My Beaux Jack... Our BooBoo. He is what has propels me everyday to be Myself. He is my companion and delight. He is the reason that I question nearly everything I do. My inspiration for reflection and Purpose. He was sent to me as a promise.fulfilled, single handedly transforming my life into something worth.while... something beautiful.

I'm thankful for a body that does whatever I ask it to do with very little resistance. It can grow bebies. It can carry a child with one arm while reflexively keeping the other from darting into traffic. It can hear water running from the sink clear across the house- then darting through a mine.field of toys and children without ever losing it's footing. It can ignore Dora.the.Explorer's nail.on.chalk.board.voice while preparing a delish and nutrish meal. It can wake itself out of a dead.sleep to soothe a crying bebe or change wet sheets. It cleans up pretty well and can convince most people that all.in.all it will survive.

I'm thankful for Mustard.Seed.Photography and the passion that is found behind the name. The people who take it upon themselves to encourage me, inspire me... and trust me even when I doubt myself. The people who have convinced me to look High and not Low... and to value my talent. The persistence in their constant nudging and the validation of a hug, email, comment, or phone call.

I'm thankful that theDuckling thinks everything I say is funny, or brilliant- or both. I'm thankful he is mine and I am his. I'm thankful that most days he gets my best... and the days that he doesn't, he loves me anyway. I'm thankful that he is small and fits into my arms just so. I'm thankful that there is nothing in his life that can't be remedied in my arms. I'm thankful that we have this secret, him and me. A secret that he is my son, forever... and that I am his mother... For the rest of time, no one else can say that about him and me.

I'm thankful for Brothers... the magic that only exist between James and Jackson... and inside connection that can't be rivaled.

I'm thankful for shelter. Our little nest, downy soft. It keeps us dry and warm and safe... I'm thankful that Love lives here.

I'm thankful for Connection.
-A connection to a red.blooded.man who loves from the bottom of his feet to the very tip.top of his shiny.bald.head. I'm thankful that after two children and lots and lots of effort, he still Knows me and I Know him. I'm thankful that his foundation is secure and he seeks fulfillment in what is found Here... and not There. He celebrates me... and there is nothing better than that.
-I'm thankful for the connection of Motherhood... the journey that puts meaning in everything I do. A journey that would scare the Hell out of me if it wasn't constantly proving to me the Magic that is found in Everyday. I'd run away in retreat if it didn't make me so dadgum tough.
-I'm thankful for the connection of inspiration found through the internet. With very little effort, wearing not a business suit but a spit.up.stained shirt and pajama pants, I can learn just about anything I want... for free.

I'm thankful for Hope... the hope that is found in Believing in something greater than yourself. The Blessed Assurance that is my story, my song.

I'm grateful for the Grace that's always a phone call away when I've had a hard day and a friendly voice answers the phone. The understanding between women that allows us to pour our hearts out without needing to protect ourselves. The grace that promises no judgement, just mercy.

I'm thankful for Trinity Driving School and the service it provides and the good that it does.

I'm thankful for deeep bathtubs and extra.hot water...

I'm thankful for coffee, coffee beans, coffee growers, coffee importers/exporters/traders/makers... You get my drift. :)

I'm thankful for the night.time... the magic hour when the boys fall to sleep and the house is quiet... and how nice it feels to be 'alone' with theHotness. There is no single place I'd rather be.

I'm thankful for all the Cool People in this world who have made all this Crafty.Old.Lady.Stuff I love to do cool. For the first time in my life I'm like a knitting/baking/sewing*rockstar! :)

I'm thankful for Family... the men who think I've hung.the.moon. The children who make me think, try, strive, and achieve. The instant dizziness I feel when I hug them tightly and take a deep breath. They are the constant in my life that helps me earn my sleep at night... and the very reason I wake up each morning. The tiny collection of people who see the best in me even when I lose my cool, go days without a stitch of makeup, or forget the sweet potatoes steaming on the stove.

I'm thankful for the Truth that our family isn't finished yet... that there is a chapter yet to be written for us. I'm grateful that even though I don't know The Plan... or her name, that God is in control and holding our daughter in His hands. And through the miracle of adoption, one day soon, I will have a daughter that will look nothing like me... but was exactly.created to be my daughter and change my life. Our little treasure waiting to be found...

And of course, I'm thankful for my readers... the ones who spend a tid.bit of their time letting me know that I'm not alone... and that we are in this together. Sort of. :)

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

Peace,

Definitely possible...

It is possible to attend your ten year reunion and like it.

It is possible to be just.as.nervous ten years later, when you walk into a high.school event... all alone, with your pretty shoes on... with your date on your arm... hoping that things will be fine.

It is possible for old friends to recognize you after a drastic hair.cut, two pregnancies, 6 years of marriage, a mortgage, 710 sleepless nights, and 168,000 diaper changes.

It's possible to feel like a teenager again even though there are two car seats in the back seat, and Laurie Berkner on repeat in the car.

It's possible to feel nervous when you pack your 'little purse' and wonder for a split second if you have room to fit a box of raisins in there just in case the kids whiny...

It's possible to have a panic attack when you realize that you don't need raisins! Hell, you need note cards with interesting.non.mom topics written on them to be relevant and interesting at your ten year reunion!

It's possible to be a well adjusted 28 year old. A happily married mother of two... walking up that flight of stairs... scared that perhaps at the top, you'll realize that Life has in fact passed you by. And being scared that everyone will notice.

It is possible to plan ahead NOT to dance... because that would be stupid... but then feel the overwhelming urge to get out there when the DJ plays a rap.track.

It's possible to regret being such a 'teenager' in high.school- because for the most part, these are some of the coolest people you have ever (re)met.

It's possible to look across the room and realize that out of a couple hundred people and a lot of old memories, your husband is the most exceptional creature in the place...

It's possible to be honestly happy for people you use to not like.

It's possible to make a real effort to be Interesting, then two drinks later realize that we all just want to talk about bebies, poop, reflux, sex, and fat.rolls (ours and theirs).

It's possible for a group of 'snotty.teenage.highschoolers' to turn a rented reception hall into a giant, happy mommy.playdate.

It is possible to be reminded in a matter of minutes how much you miss some of your friends... how much you've missed... and how friggin exceptional they have become.

It's possible to stand shoulder to shoulder with a Doctor and a Lawyer and feel just as valuable and accomplished as a Stay.At.Home.Mom... because all three of us are working hard. All three of us are happy. All three of us are making a difference in this world.

It is possible to leave your ten.year.high.school reunion feeling 10 feet tall... knowing that in ten years, you've worked your tail off. Sacrifices, tears, dreams, Love, fears... And no matter who.is.doing.what, YOU are exactly where you need to be. You are exactly who you need to be with. You are heading exactly where you need to go.

****

To all my high.school.mom.friends. We made it. We really made it. We went from flimsy.teenagers who thought we knew what we wanted... thinking that no one understood how life really was- except of course Alanis Morrisette. Some how we made ten years of choices that brought us to Saturday night. All of us beautiful. All of us strong. All of us hanging on to what we have left of ourselves, while being brave enough to grow as mothers and wives. We were so little then--- but we must have cast a long shadow. We are much greater now than we ever (ever) were sitting on the carpet of The.Commons.

I walked away from a Could.Be.Disaster.Saturday.Night, realizing that I am a part of an incredible, beautiful, accomplished group of people.

*For those of you that read my blog and took the time to let me know and encourage me Saturday night- Thank you. It is nice to know that you share this space with me. I do love it.

Peace, love, and No.regrets.
xo
lmkw

Hellos from the road!

Hello friendlies!

Thank you each so much for your embraced love and support of my newest venture, Mustard.Seed.Photography. As many of you said, it's been a long time coming and it has really transformed things for me/in me this past week. By week two of it's big debut, I will have completed four/FOUR/fOuR photo.sessions. That's... awesome. I have some special support in my life right now. And the encouragement that pours through this blog/email is a huge part of things. Thank you. In other Mustard.Seed news, I'm ***this*** close to launching my website. I'm debating to whether to launch it 'almost perfect' just to get it up sooner... or be patient to have it 'absolutely perfect.' I can feel some of you rolling your eyes. You know me too well! I have a feeling we both know what I'll choose. ;)

Right now... as I type, I am in the lovely.city.of.Houston for the week. TheHotness has business which means a nice hotel and rental. Which means to me, that I have no floors to clean, meals to prepare, laundry to do... and an invisible house.elf that makes my bed and fluffs my pillows every time I leave. *Confession: I'm not a bed.maker. Seriously--- I always have fresh flowers in my house... I cook from scratch most meal... I sew and knit... all of that. BUT you'll never find a made bed in my house--- scratch that---- You'll ALWAYS find a made bed in my house, because the only time I make them is if people are coming over. Otherwise, they go un.made. BUT I tell you what, a made bed is a special thing... perhaps I'll change my ways?

AND my ten.year.highschool reunion is coming up. Like, next Saturday. *sigh* I'm actually looking forward to it. Odd, I know. But my Rachel/maid of honor is coming in town with her hunk... and my Carla and her hunk are all going. So that means my best girls and their sweeet boys will be together for ONE NIGHT ONLY without children or diaper bags. That alone is enough to get butterflies over. As of today, Thursday, I haven't decided on what to wear. True to form, I'm a procrastinator... and yes, I use my children as an excuse to continue procrastinating. However, I have good intentions for this weekend/week.

Highlights of this week so far:
*The Galleria with the boys... new shoes for James and Jax. So cute. James got a pair of new Chucks... this will be his fourth pair since he was born. I need to take a pic of the size progression... And Jax got a cute little Fox pair of Robeez to match his foxy.winter.wardrobe. :)
*hotel.Black.Out.curtains (as usual)
*Chipotle
*photo.sesh that included kissing Ghandi's feet, mosquito swarms, foxtails... and a rumored Storm.Trooper.
*Date.night with theHotness- and this very*special Cilantro vinaigrette
*a new installment to my GreenErica jewelry. Thanks to this very*very gifted artisan, I have a very envious.and.ample collection of pretties. One word: CITRINE. Hello, love...

Now I'm about to head off to Joann's to gather up some fabric... for... camera.straps? bebe.Madelyn's layette and bebe.gear... what else? Oh, maybe fabric for window treatments? We will see where the fabric takes me...

We will be heading home Friday some time... I've got a newborn shoot this weekend. :)

Peace, love, and momentum.
xo
lmkw