Monday, March 21, 2011

on Fever and Friendship...

Life lately has taken a crazy turn.  My last entry relayed my excitement that we were sending the kids to MawMaw's and taking a few days to ourselves to do some spring cleaning and honeymooning.  About 18 hours into our Best.Laid.Plan weekend, we got a frantic call from Grandmaw.  She had taken the boys to the Houston Livestock Show and was in the petting zoo when our bebe Jackson collapsed and started seizing.  When Marcus got the call minutes later, all we really knew was that paramedics were working over Jackson, he wasn't responding to outside stimuli, and they were getting him into the ambulance and taking him to Texas Children's Medical Hospital.  Oh the panic.  Marcus called me with the news, a shadow of himself...

It's crazy how things worked out.  As scary as it was, in a literal instant- I had friends surround me with support.  My friend Kellie had just gotten there with her grandmother to visit over ice.tea when I got the call. Our first reaction?  Immediately lifting our voices and hearts up in prayer for my bebe... the doctors... our family.  Then she immediately starting pulling down bags, and stuffing them full of all the things we would need to be away... and she didn't miss a detail.  We needed nothing that she hadn't packed away for us. 

The trip usually takes about 5 hours... we made it just over 3.5?  It was hard racing over during the day and watching the sun set on the day still being miles and miles away from our bebe boy. 



I had our friend and pediatrician give me a crash course in seizures over my cell phone as we raced out of town and towards our boy.  She helped me trouble shoot what may be happening to Jackson now and how they were treating/assessing him.  We were 5 hours away from our bebe.  We had very little initial information of his condition or what caused the seizure. She was generous with her time and tenderness as she talked me through the scenarios and helped me outline a list of questions to ask once the doctor called us with their findings.  She helped diffuse my frantic heart into something that could advocate for my child. 

This was a cell phone pic Marcus' dad sent to us along our way... to show that our boy.joy was up and interacting.  I love and hate this image all at the same time. 
My neighbor and dear friend sprang into action and started whipping up a meal.plan for when we returned home... luckily, we were home the next day.  After a whirlwind of emotion, feeling road.weary, we tucked into several a bowl of homemade chicken and dumplings (my very favorite).  It's worth noting that I had another bowl at midnight... after checking on Jackson in his crib... he was still breathing and fever free.  We celebrated with a victory bowl and then crashed.  Hard. :)

The Mississippi River Bridge- Finally returning home with our boy.joy in tact!

Our beautiful bebe boy!  We all needed a rest after this trip. 

It's the little things! Carla met us at home to see her boy.joy with her own two eyes... she brought 'happies' from her little nest to ours- balloons and Jax's favorite carla.treats, craisens. She found us a bit battered but happy... and she found Jackson 100% himself and running circles around the island and couch with his 'Loon following him from high behind. 

It didn't take this guy too long to get back on his feet!  He's singing 'Mysterious Ways' by U2 in this pic.
 Quite literally:  'isall wi, isssallll wiiii, is allll wiiiii! she moo in mysteria waaaay'


And that's not mentioning the seemingly hundreds of emails, messages, texts, and facebook comments from friends and clients who were surrounding me and my boys with prayer/love/support.  For a five hour car ride rushing to get to your one year old who was seizing at a hospital- yes, a little notification expressing sincere thoughts and prayers from various friends and family... it matters!  I really really does Make.A.Difference.  It's a small way to spend your time and technology to touch a person and meet a need.  I'm grateful for that relentless and resounding show of support!!! 

To make a long story short, what was meant to be a low.key productive weekend became an emotional roller coaster/wake up call.  Jackson is perfectly fine, thank God!  He had a febrile seizure from a mystery fever he spiked.  We aren't sure where the fever came from... or if more seizures are in his future.  But we do know that in most cases, febrile seizures are harmless.  SCARY, but harmless.  We could have received bad news that weekend... but instead, we received a Silver Lining and a healthy dose of Perspective. 

Since then, I've been working round.the.clock to get caught up with my MSP work that I missed while tending our little nest.  It's hard!  I am my own boss, secretary, artist, errand.runner, etc- and when I miss a few days running this little machine, things get all out of whack and require tremendous effort and long long hours to get things working smoothly again.  And that same situation can be applied to our little nest, as well... the tending of our household.  Good thing Adrenaline can take over after a scare like that!  No matter how many candles I've been burning on how many ends, I can do it with Gratefulness in my heart and Joy on my lips!  Amen!?  ;)
A family Victory Breakfast at our favorite brunch spot.  I love these boys and their cheese.faces.
There are so many levels to this event, this story, that aren't covered in this blog post... maybe those are for another day.  But for today I am grateful for the gift of Friendship. 

FRIENDSHIP.

The kinds of friends who seem to believe Love is a verb... an action word.... There is no doubt what is in their heart because it is self.evident in their actions.  I'm turning 30 in a couple of months.  And for the first time in my life, I am beginning to grasp the meaning of deeply rooted friendship.  The only way I can describe it is the sensation you have when your lungs are burning, aching for air... nothing complicated, fancy, or needing interpretation.  Just air.  Just oxygen.  Everything and Nothing is on your mind as you struggle for just one breath... and a Friend steps in to supply just one simple need... an in an instant, your lungs pull in Life.  A deep cleansing, perspective.catching breath of Life.  At a primal level... a motherhood level... that one action of kindness, of friendship becomes almost everything.  It's simple.  In a time of need, it's never as complicated as we try to make it.  We just need a friend.... to meet a simple need. 
I'm so grateful that I have the kind of friends who Give.  It's crazy humbling for me and my nature to be surrounded with support and people who will Do things for me.  I'm more comfortable in that role... but every now and then, Life turns the table on you.  And in an instant, you know exactly how important it is when people Give and meet a need... no matter how small. 

This event has renewed many aspects of my life and the things I feel are important in The Grand Scheme... least of all my renewed devotion to be a Friend.  A real giver.  We all have heard: To have a friend, you must be a friend. 

And when I look at what has separated people from "friends" to Friends in my life, they all have similar characteristics.... There are those that consistently Give of themselves (their time, their talents, their encouragement) and their are those that tend to Take (other's time, other's talents, other's encouragements).  I do think that at any time, I can find myself on either list... but I think it's not where you are at any one moment in time that defines your ability to be a real friend- rather where you spend most of your time.  Most of all, I want to be a Giver.  I want to confront my own insecurities and not let myself and those insecurities get in the way of being a Friend.  When we limit ourselves, we limit our Joy.   

and when you find these people... these Friends, take care of them. 

Let them know who they are and what they mean to you.  They don't know.  They don't assume that they matter to you.  They need to hear it now and hear it often

They may make it LOOK easy and effortless, but I can promise you this- their laundry piles up, too.  Their days are long, too.  They get cut off in traffic, passed over in carpool, and spit.up.on by their children, too. Their alarms go off to early in the morning, too.  They look in the mirror after a long day and wonder who they really are, too.  But often times, somehow, we don't notice they have similar needs...

I've spent lots of time thinking about how be a better friend... and I think that's a good thing... a beautiful way to live... because when you think your world is falling a part in one.single.instant, it's nice to be able to check out for a spell to tend your nest, and fall back on your Support System that loves you too much to let you sink into the enormity of it all. 

Peace, love, and Grace.and.Grit.that.comes.in.the.shape.of.GIRLFRIENDS. 
xo
lmkw

1 comment:

kellie said...

I am so Grateful to be your Friend. And even more Grateful to have you as my Friend! I love you to pieces. (all the pieces)