Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Big Changes!

SO this past week has been a big one. In fact, something special has happened over the past seven days- something worthy enough for it's very own post.

TheDuckling grew a neck. Yes. *nodding* That's right, a neck. In the past week or so, he's grown his very own neck.

It looks good on him, No?

Take another look.

It's really somethin if you ask me. His perfect littleDuckling face use to be a round little dumplin sitting on top his soft little shoulders... but now, this new little neck is trying it's very best to lift that noggin up... 'E' for effort!

He's totally proud of himself... and without a doubt, his momma is too. :)

Peace, love, and liberated.neck.rolls.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

theDuckling turns one!



A year ago my second son was born. I loved the pregnancy. I loved the anticipation. I loved knowing that for the most part, I was as ready as I could ever be for this child. We were in a different place this time around... both physically and figuratively. His brother made me a mother. So this time around, I was just waiting to meet my son and introduce him to the people that would be his forever.

A lug of a bebe born fragile at first. I read those old post and remember back thinking it was all roses. But when I watch his birth video, I can't hold back the tears. He struggled for each breath those first few hours... his chest pulling and jerking for air. I hated myself for consenting the the induction. Did I do this to my son? We were afraid of his size causing me to possibly need a Cesarean. Did he break his collarbone? Did I fail this bebe? We expected the worst but were blessed with a healthy (perfectly intact) bebe.boy. All I wanted to do was to hold him, monitor free, and nurse him to sleep... I didn't get that wish until nearly 10 hours after he was born. But nurse we did... during those first handful of months. And I loved every quiet moment with my littleDuckling tucked into me.

Jackson has brought more joy into our lives than we were prepared for. He was an easy infant and is growing into such a happy and content toddler. From an early age, he was more alert than James was at that age... and you didn't have to work hard for a full belly laugh or flashy smile. He's pureJOY..

Now as he rounds his first year, he has a list of words: momma, daddy, bubba, thank you, uh oh, one-two-threeee, and bottle. He signs for more, milk, please, and all done. He can stand by himself- but isn't yet brave enough to make those first steps unassisted. He loves to dance and read. Pat.a.Cake and play ball. He waves hello and goodbye and can blow kisses. But if you are luckiest of all, he will give you the slowest, sweetest, wettest kiss right on your face (or leg or head or whatever is closest when the mood strikes). His 'muah' kissy sound is quite dramatic. He absolutely adores his big brother and his daddy. He's eating table foods and loves his sippy cup. Although he is so similar to his big brother- he is very much his own person and he reminds us of that everyday.

I can't believe he is already a year old. I can honestly say that I was prepared to be overwhelmed taking care of two- but it's been nothing but steady joy. I've had moments of frustration- but NOTHING like I anticipated. I'm a happy mother of two and can't imagine my life without my precious boys.

Today we will celebrate at a restaurant then organic, gourmet cupcakes and dancing! His big birthday bash will follow...

There was a time where we crumbled at the thought that perhaps children of our own weren't in our future. We suffered loss and endured great pain... but as promised, our Hope was new again and our lives were transformed forever with the arrival of our bebies.

I'm so grateful that this child is a part of my story. He could be anyone's child. But he isn't. He is ours. Hand.picked just for us... wonderfully and fearfully made reminding me each day that God loves us most of all. My boys (all three) are a constant source of inspiration for me... and I'm so grateful to be present enough to notice the details of it all. I've been blessed beyond measure.

***As of this morning, the birthday boy is in fine.form!

We started our celebration off with buckwheat.birthday.waffles with just a scant drizzle of agave nectar and a touch of whipped cream. From there, he threw each sticky piece on the floor proclaiming, "UH OH!" with each splat. He yelled for his usual yogurt! :)

He fussed if I was in the room. Fussed if I was out of the room. And fussed if his brother provided him too much attention or too little. When I say 'fuss'- to Jackson, that means he stands on his tip toes, arches his back and sticks out his Buddha belly, crinkle his face and make the loudest growly yell, bearing his two little white teeth until his face turns the deepest shade of crimson. Quite the spectacle. Intermingled in the fussing, he yelled at the top of his lungs for his Daddy over and over (and over) again crawling from room to room looking for him... slapping the ground as he went. Birthday conspiracy!!


Yes, that's how we started our morning. Needless to say, we popped a few teething tablets and got back into bed with Bamboo and Basil and Mr.X and snuggled under his favorite blanket... Here's hoping he takes a nice birthday nap.

I'll keep yall updated as our week of festivities play out.

peace, love and theDuck.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Cookies and Couch time...

Oh sweet blog!

I'm only gonna stop to say 'hi' tonight. I know I need to post all the new stuff going on with us--- and there is a LOT of stuff to share--- but theHotness is getting lost in the shuffle of crazyBusy life, so I'm gonna go grab some couch time with him...

James stuck popcorn kernels up his nose.

We've played two Tball games and it's... so much stinkin fun.

I'm busier than ever with mustard.seed.photography- and that makes me a hundred shades of happy.

I'm meeting my newest boy.joy this week- that I've only had a long.term relationship with--- yes, Moses and his sweet momma will be touching down here in less than 48 hours!!! Totally pumped about all that jazz.

theDuckling turns ONE YEAR OLD on Friday... holy cow!
ANNNNND his birthday extravaganza is the next weekend.

Throw in a couple bebe.showers/birthday parties/photoshoots in between the particulars and I'm just blowin.and.goin!

I promise to come back when I have a sec and fill you in on the good stuff.

*And bc I can't post without a pic... take a look! :)

Just some recent mustard.seed.photography love...

Peace, love, and herb gardens.

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Love.List

(image from weheartit.com)

***This post is inspired by my friend, Meghan aka MamaMoses aka sweetMegs...

Now, after spending 90+ days in Uganda away from family and friends, their Love.List is jammed full of amazing appreciations and reflections... and the 'roughest' time I can claim lately was when the AC went out for a day. So, just so you know- I respect the guts out of this woman...

That being said, I've got so much to be grateful for... and look forward to.

Wait? Can I change this to a Love.Look.Forward list???

1.) I can't wait for James' first Tball game tomorrow night. Marcus is coaching and they are so excited. He's got the sweetest little team... I can't wait to be a mom in the stands and cheer my men on.

2.) I CAN'T WAIT to meet Moses Matt when he gets home to his new home here in the United States of America... and his vibrant momma, Meghan. It's been such a journey to get him home where he belongs, and I'm flat out ready to partay.

3.) Can't wait for this weekend. Marcus' office is hosting a 'family day' allowing kids and spouses to come to work to check things out. James has ALWAYS begged to go to work with him- so this will be monumental. Can't wait to see Marcus' daily environment and see James' reaction to his Daddy's work stuff.

4.) I'm excited about theDuckling's birthday... and the festivities. I've always said to celebrate milestones, and one full year getting to know this exceptional little creature is certainly worth celebrating. It's another step in the right direction... another year living abundantly... and I'm so grateful for that.

5.) I can't wait to file for this adoption. It's still months away but I just can't help but wish we filed yesterday. I trust that God's timing and our careful planning is what we need to do, but I'm just ready to be a mom again- but this time to a big brown eyed angel.bebe. Like I told sweetMeghan today in an email, I'm obsessed with Africa. Translation: this adoption takes money- so if you have a spare 25k laying around cluttering up things, just let me know. :) *God willing, our little adoption bank account will be fat.and.happy come the end of the year...

6.) I've got a maternity shoot coming up and I can't wait to get this momma in front of the camera. OH! I adore mommas... and I'm waking up at night with ideas. I love mustard.seed.photography and all the opportunity it's opened up for me. I'm so grateful to have it in my life and to have my mustard.seed families cheering me on.

7.) I'm grateful for this time in my life: kids underfoot. dinners together at night. sand table time. laying on the grass with bebies that smell like sunshine and clovers... It will never get old. Ever.

8.) I'm grateful for my friends and sisters who keep me grounded. I'm like a balloon and I'm likely to float off when the wind blows... and my friends call me out. keep me linked. encourage me. They tell me to stop whining... to start working... and to stay open. They don't take me too seriously. They never kick me when I'm down and are the first people to show up or call or email when they feel me losing my way. No matter if they live next door, or states away. Whether we talk everyday or once in a blue moon. We never miss a beat. It's never about what I can do for them- but what they can do for me... and that amazes me. I cherish that kind of generosity. And more than anything, they love my kids. From their mother.hearts, they love my kids. So grateful.

9.) I'm grateful for theHotness. I'm grateful for his tenderness towards me and my feelings. I love the way he plans. Quietly planning, getting things done... making my dreams come true. When he says he is going to do something, he does. All the time, every time. He's a true parent to the boys, never separating parenting roles... He's calm. Quiet. Manly, but not macho. And he's a tireless worker. It's hard to imagine, but he loves me best of all. Still. And I thank God for the gift of his love and devotion to our little family every night.

10.) I'm grateful that no matter what, no matter if I'm happy or sad, good or bad- I serve a living God who shows up every.single.day to help me through things. Sometimes I get these beautiful broad strokes of His presence in my life... but I'm grateful most for the small tangible ways He is with me. When I lose my cool with the kids. When I'm not sure if I'm fit to parent another day more. When James is crying for cereal and I'm CERTAIN that we are out of milk- but yet, there is jussst enough to squeak out a bowl to quiet down the Whine. When I feel lonely or unsure and a Divine Peace comes over my heart- quieting down my head. When my kids do things daily- and have an absolute burst of appreciation and gratefulness that I am who I am, living this life, and that they were given to ME of all people... I'm grateful for the absolute confidence that NOTHING could EVER happen to separate me from my Heavenly Father and His love. No illness or misfortune or tragedy can ever separate me from direct access to my Maker. He meets me just as I am, every.single.day. I have NOTHING to fear... not a thing. I have every reason in this world to Hope. I have every reason in this world to Love and give Love freely.

I think I'll stop there with those...

Oh, is it too late to throw in *I'm grateful for date.nights? Cause my sweetCousin just texted and may kick us out the house soon so she can get kissy.lovey.dovey with her favorite boys... I'm SO ready. :) SOready. Carrie, I'll love you forever and ever and ever. :)

Peace, love, and little.booties.in.baseball.britches.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

What happens if you DON"T brush your teeth...

For the most part, it's fair to say that I'm a very deliberate parent. I read books about it. I search the Internet about it. I talk to people I admire and get their take on things. I'm not scared by new ages or stages that my kids go through and I feel that if something comes up that I'm not sure how to handle, with a little time and effort, I can figure it out...


Tonight? Well I just sort of went with it. Freelanced. Off.the.cuff sort of parenting that rarely happens around here.

Hey. I had an urge and an opportunity, so I took it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time....

Here's how it went down: James is quite the Big Boy lately. He thinks about things... deeeeep things. He asks questions about big issues. There is no doubt that he's making connections and trying his best to figure out this Great.Big.World and who he is in the whole grand scheme of things.

I love it. I mean, I LOVE it. It's fun to have a matter.a.fact conversation about our bodies and privacy. It's fun to hear his take on the weather... stars... planets. It's cute to hear his view on why daddies are Daddies and why mommas are Mommas. The best part is when you hit the jackpot and he starts talking about God or Jesus or Heaven, etc. I get to listen and hear how his little brain works. And I'm always impressed and entertained and recommitted to loving this little human being.

But in his talking, you get a lot of 'Why' questions... or even the occasional, bold 'No, Momma... I fink I'm not gonna do dat.' reply. Yes, the big.bad.Back.Talk. *sigh* I believe in explaining some of my decisions- but many many of my decisions aren't up for discussion. When I say to do this or that- I want a happy and compliant 'yes, momma' response. *With exceptions of course.

SO here it is: We were getting ready for bed and I told him to get started brushing his teeth. He's 4 years old and has had teeth for 4 years minus 3 months- so it's safe to assume we have had this EXACT same routine for nearly 98% of his life. Tonight I got something to the effect of 'No, Momma. Not tonight. I don't need to tonight because I brushed my teeth yesterday.' *I was on the computer and he was in his bathroom about... oh, I'd say about 11 feet away from my chair. It was a dumb argument. We all know that what you did yesterday with your dental hygiene doesn't apply 24 hours, a Popsicle, ear of chocolate easter bunny, and birthday cake later... Dumb dumb kid. If you are gonna take me on, at least give me something legit to argue. So, what did I do, you wonder?

Hey, come see something really quick.
*glad to leave the bathroom stool, he quickly trots over...
Okay, you see this? (I google searched rotten teeth images, and grabbed the very first pic)

See that guys teeth? He didn't brush his teeth everyday. Nope. He didn't think he needed to... and that's what happens when you don't brush your teeth.*In the length of time it took me to say those three.ish sentences, I clicked over to an image of beautiful white teeth... and up close image of a woman's beautiful smile...
See this lady's teeth? Aren't they beautiful? She brushes her teeth every day... every morning and every single night. And because she takes such good care of them, she has a beautiful, healthy smile. What do you think?

***Instantly he split and ran back to the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush.
He actually brushed them twice... took him nearly 10 minutes... Fronts. Backs. Sides.

Victory? Nailed it? Interesting, yet effective take?

Wells, maybe not.

It totally and utterly freaked him out. He's a thinker. A wonderer. A dweller. And that 25 sec. view of rotten teeth made him ask about 72.ish questions about dental hygiene... wide eyed... catching his breath... panicked. He was in his bed, with his blue lovey blanket clutched up high under this chin. Then he uttered up the most fervent prayer to Jesus about keeping sugar off his teeth so that his teeth wouldn't fall out and turn brown. It was a sad beggy.type prayer. Then he layed his head down on his star covered pillow and with the widest blue eyes looking towards the wall, with a shutter of his tiny body said, "Momma. I'm totally freaked out."

Maybe that was a bit too harsh for a 4 year old... a tender 4 year old. Maybe he's scared for life. He begged me to brush his teeth again for him right when he wakes up in the morning. Maybe I've created the first obsessive compulsion for him... Dumb dumb mother. Rookie mistake. Bush league.


I guess thats what can happen when you just make it up as you go along...

*for the record, theHotness scolded me and gave me a 'way to go, lindsey'... then he told James that 'your momma is kooookie and that picture was just make.believe and your teeth will never look like that' speech. Liar.

So my question for you is this: Is it better to be honest and instill a little healthy fear into a kid for his own good--- OR is it better to be a liar?


I'll hate your guts if you take his side... and I'm betting right now that Moon and Carley and others WILL take his side bc they love him and think he's almost.perfect. But I'll still hate their guts for a day... or two. ;) At least I'm being HONEST.

Peace, love, and fluoride.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


It was hard to greet this Easter holiday without drawing an immediate comparison to where we were this time last year. Or, where I was this time last year.

I was about two weeks from delivering my second child, theDuckling. My belly was swollen with the promise of a big, healthy boy.child. I grappled at finding ways to look presentable and ways to feel feminine. As a woman who has carried two bebies to term, there comes a time in a pregnancy where a clear line is drawn. It's a tangible line in the sand where pregnancy takes over- and you just have to let.well.enough.be and surrender yourself to the spectacle that is Motherhood. That's all there is to it. Forget those chipped toe.nails. The untameable cleavage. The strutted.swayed.back posture that defies the shear force of gravity.

In a year, so much has changed. Little things. Bigger things. Things that didn't matter at all... So much change. Changes that hurt a little. Changes that I didn't even noticed happened at all.

And here I am sitting on top of nearly an entire year. My little nest has orbited the sun nearly one complete year. So, it's only natural to look back and dive into reflection.

I'm glad I've traded in my body from something that resembled a pot.belly.minnow to something more trim and neatly kept. Though I do miss the boobs a little. But I gladly traded in the double.chin for my pre.preggers bra size.

But more than the obvious, I'm glad that Life pushed our little family into Change.

TheDuckling has made me a better mother. He's made James into a brother. And he's added another layer of value to Marcus' daily efforts and motivation. I've learned the give and take that comes with multiple children and believe that moderation, in any amount, is a good thing for me. I'm an over.the.edger... tip.of.the.topper... almost.too.mucher. So that's good. I've come to value myself more as a mother- now having to raise another little individual human being while keeping the ship afloat. AND I'm intensely secure with the vision I have for my life and my family's. He's added a whole new facet to this life that I never even knew could exist.

That's not to say that I haven't had my 'sick.and.tired' moments... or pity.parties in grand scale. Because, you know, I've got more chicks in my basket this time around- to keep out of toilets, and limbs lotioned, and wind.pipes free and clear of obstructions, etc. All in a days work, right?

But it all boils down to this: the holidays that find me on the floor surrounded by the most spectacular creatures I've ever seen. Ones that look like us. Talk like us. Smell like us. Taking joy in the simplest things on Earth in the most relevant and authentic way possible... by presenting those opportunities for the first time to your kids- and then stepping back to marvel in it all.

So much of what I thought I would ever want in life has been made irrelevant by the privilege of motherhood.

Last year I could only guess at where a year would bring us... and now looking back, it's nice to know that the hardest things during that 'first year of life' could throw at you are in the past. A whole years worth of effort, grit, sacrifice and consistency are behind us... with a lifetime of possibilities ahead. Sure more effort lies ahead- but that's the guarantee with kids. No matter what effort or how much effort you give out, more pleasure than can be measured is returned back to you.

There are lots of things in this life that I don't have or haven't accomplished yet... (or maybe ever). But I'm pretty sure what I do have points directly to God's Love.Abundant in my little place in on this earth. And for that, I'm glad I was given the opportunity to receive it.

Peace, love, and azaleas.

Monday, April 5, 2010


And lovin' we did do.

We hosted family at our house this year... which means the food was plentiful and the photos were few. Bc who's gonna stir that custard on the stove AND take pics of Jax eating the Easter grass? Can't be in two places at one time... but I learned that lesson long ago.

James got some candy in his basket this year. BIG splurge for this momma. But what could one day of treats hurt? *Besides my sanity :)

It was a beautiful weekend filled with lots of reflection. My house was clean. I treated myself with fresh flowers from WholeFoods: long fresh stems of lilacs... bunches of tulips in my favorite colors... green hydrangeas... and as the Easter song goes 'an orchid for your momma'--- 'cept I got one orchid from each of my manlies. :) Long branches of white phals. *My favorite*

We hunted eggs and stayed uncomfortably stuffed from all the yummies for nearly three days. The boy were clean. Healthy. In matching outfits. Jackson declared Easter as his favorite holiday so far simply because the plastic eggs were the most amazing things he has ever laid eyes on. So much for his new Basil BlaBla... Hello, 97 cent target eggs.

God is good. My debt is paid. I'm redeemed. My family is well. My boys are brilliant. My husband still makes me weak.in.the.knees. Our little nest is warm and soft and dry. Our future is full of Hope and Promise. I can't imagine needing anything more.

I have tons of pics to share... I'm editing them now. I'll update with a picture post soonish.

Peace, love, and Blessed Assurance.

mustard.seed. SPRING :)

Friday I had an invigorating photo shoot with a lovely mustard.seed momma and bebe.

The venue was spectacular and the subjects were oh.so.lovely.

It's always funny to work with families capturing pictures... you never know what you are going to have to work with. Luckily, I've never had a single family that hasn't made my job easy! BUT this little duo were exceptional. The momma is a teacher! And let.me.tell.you.one.thing--- teacher.moms are the best to work with.

For example, lots of parents have the urge to say: 'look here! Smile! Over here! Sit still! Turn around!' etc. AND that's sooooo normal and natural. But lots of times that backfires. The child gets aggravated and before you know it- they are so *over* having their picture taken. BUT from the first drop of my shutter, this momma knew how to do it! "Oh, what colors are those flowers? How many do you think there are? What do they smell like? etc" IT WAS HEAVEN! Bc that's exactly what helps me get great images... The shoot was fun! No fussing or begging... just plain go.with.it.fun.

I love it when that happens...

Here are some of the special sneak*peeks.

***Oh, I just love it! Every family that invest in me and my work blesses me in so many ways. They take part in making my dreams come true... fueling my professional creativity BUT also contributing to our bebe.girl adoption fund.

There are studios on every corner. They could go ANYWHERE to have their picture taken. But instead they give me a chance to create something special just for them. I'm different. I'm unconventional. I'm new. But they support me and encourage me and rally behind my efforts. I'll always appreciate my mustard.seed families and the difference they make in my life.

Thanks ladies for spending your Good Friday with me! Yall made my job easy. :)

Peace, love, and tulips.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The plan

Many of you have asked what I had up my sleeve for theDuckling's First Birthday...

I've struggled with the mere idea that he has a birthday coming up...

But he does.

He's almost a ONE year old.

Moon and I were talkin about it the other night...

So, here is the plan:

We will drape the clubhouse in spools and spools of tulle. Little fat.necked.cheribs will hover high near the corners of the ceiling playing little tiny violins. Rock candies will fill tall apothecary jars. The cake will be 14 layers high and be filled with raspberry creme. The chairs and tables will be dripping in white silk. And fresh sweetpeas will be bundled at each place setting. A happy little lady bug will be sitting on the dew.dropped leaves. There will be little Momma ducks waddling around with tiny ducklings following close behind. The children will chase happy bunnies through the grass. A harpist with long, white angel wings and a sparkly halo will be strumming a heavenly tune and Jackson will be sitting in the center of it all laughing and clapping and smiling and shining everyone dizzy. Then after we all sing happy birthday, we will all stand in a circle and release doves that have little tiny wishes on tiny rolled parchment that are tied to their little birdie.feet... they will billow up high into the air as the sun sets over the lakes...

That's how we will celebrate theDucklings birthday.