Tuesday, March 31, 2009

*Big News*

Today was my 35 week appt with my high risk docs. I really enjoyed this visit. The doc was great, and I finally feel like we are going somewhere with this pregnancy.

Let's back up: I delivered James in Texas. I loved my doctor and felt very well cared for. One thing that she monitored closely was James' size. He was a big 'un from early on. We were expecting a heavy 8 lb bebe and were surprised when he came almost 2 weeks early at a whoppin' 9lbs. 10oz! Not being in Texas this time around keeps me from having the benefit of the same doctor watching the development of the second child, while linking the information gathered from the first pregnancy/delivery.

During my prenatal care this go round, my doctors weren't overly concerned with bebe.jax size. Wells, this visit confirmed my suspicions that Jackson, too, will most probably a big bebe. *I knew it.* So from here on out, we are monitoring his growth closely. Today's ultrasound showed that he is already at that 7 lbs. mark... and if he gains only half a pound a week, that could put him over the 9 1/2 lb. mark at due date.

Sooooo, I'll go back April 21st (@ 38 weeks) to get a new look at this big.bebe. We will decide then to induce either that week, or the next (39 weeks) *depending on his size. Oh, and NO- I do not have gestational diabeties.

***I generally resist medical intervention in most ways... BUT I do prefer to have this bebe naturally, so letting this pregnancy go to 40+ weeks- may put me at risk of ultimately having a c-section... so I'm definitely not wanting that.

Take a look at the new pictures. I can't stop looking at them. I'm smitten with my bebe.jax. He's beautiful and is the spitting image of his big.bruver... I'm at the end of this, and ready to move forward with my house full of hunky.boys!

Peace, love, and bebe.gear.galore,

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I'm a Thinker

Yes, I'm a thinker. A worker bee. I analyse. It's all a part of my type-A personality. I'm creative and messy and free- but I'm very strong willed and hard.headed. I set my sights on something and I generally will make whatever efforts necessary to achieve that goal. I was raised this way. Work hard. Stop for nothing. Give 100% effort. Accept no help and expect nothing for free.

This is my nature.

In a zillion ways this is a good personality to have. I'm dreadfully optimistic. I have an excellent work ethic. I feel in control of my choices. Being a young girl going through life so far, I've settled for very little- and I feel this temperament of mine has saved me a lot of heart.ache... and made me very hopeful about where my life, God willing, will lead me.

but (*you guessed it)

when you are a thinker, your mind never shuts off. I'm constantly organizing, researching, analysing things in my head. Again, mostly good: clean house, healthy food, happy/healthy/well adjusted kid, healthy mind/body/spirit, clean underwear. BUT sometimes I can truly work myself into a tizzy.

And today I'm in that tizzy. Honestly, fit.to.be.tied. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. Which means in 35 days I will go through labor, delivery, and take on the responsibilities of caring for a newborn boy.child.

My body has crossed the line into defying all possible probability. I waddle, have this swayed back, my lower body does NOT match my upper body in any way. And with this amazing transformation called Third Trimester Pregnancy, comes aches from the inside and out. I'm in a constant state of physical aggravation. But I have an overachieving need to be on my feet and working around the house 12 hours a day. I'm my own worst enemy.

The good news is I am getting heaps and heaps done. The bad news is, I am always rationalizing why there is more and more to do. And when I do offer myself a bit of a break, my mind turns on itself and thinks, organizes, adds things to the list, reorganizes- until I'm just a precious.pregnant.mess.

This nesting phase is much like preparing for company: house clean, fresh linens turned down, flowers out, floors sparkling, background music on, candles lit, appetizers set, drinks prepared... only to add extra deodorant, lipstick, and brushed teeth just 5 minutes before the guest arrive. But the best part is that they do arrive. And once they do, it's time for me to get off my feet and enjoy them through all the preparation and hard work done ahead of time...

So Jackson, dear boy, we may not be ready today... or tomorrow... but in just a couple of weeks we will be set. Everything will be ready and waiting on you. We want you here with us so badly, that we've nearly killed ourselves making things just right for your arrival. And when you do get here, we promise to pull our feet up on the couch and hold you for hours. We plan on watching your every move and answering your every call. We want to show you all the ways you are perfect for us, and all the ways you are going to love being ours. Mostly because we are a rad.little.family and also because if effort ever counted for anything, we put forth loads of it to get you here.

So what does this all mean, you ask?

Most of the items listed in the earlier blog post have been nixed off the list. A final run to babies.r.us will take care of most of it. But the brain has revealed a whole new world left to organize and plan. For example, stocking the fridge and pantry for our two.month sit in. *Yes, we pretty much hibernate that first two months... the world is a germy place. Maybe we will waver this time a little... but knowing us, we won't stray far from the plan. Oh, and gearing up for visitors... telling them to wash their hands before holding the bebe, reminding them not to kiss the bebe in the face, and to not bringing small children around the bebe until we give the clear... you know, the really fun things that people love to blow.out.of.proportion. BUT I'll be stronger my second time around. We had a bebe. We are doing our best to protect him while his immune system is gearing up. So, unless you are the one trading nightime.zzzz's to keep the bebe.bugger happy- then you don't get to call the shots. Got me? Yes.

We go to MFM dr. Tuesday! We get to get our last glimpse at our boy.love. I think it's our last... I'd love to get a guess at his poundage. I expect a whopper. I do big bebies. It's my thing. So hopefully I'll get some idea on how big he is. After that, we'll knock out that bbrus run I mentioned... My goal is to have us bebe ready by the weekend. Where all we have to do is MAINTAIN the clean house until the stork arrives. Maintain? Ha... that will be a whole new beast.

Til then,
Peace, love, and back.rubs.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Back *Home?*

Is it possible to have two homes?

Sunday morning we left Louisiana heading West to Texas. TheHotness had a week (actually two) of training and with permission from my Dr., we decided to tag along for the first half. Last July we moved from Kingwood, Tx to Baton Rouge... an awesome job opportunity presented itself to us... so we jumped. Of course, I love being closer to family and old friends... not to mention the charm of South Louisiana that you always miss when you aren't there.

Here's the thing: (you felt a but coming on, didn't you?)
I really miss Kingwood. I miss my old friends and their boys- who have grown a whole 9 months in spite of our absence. I miss this unique community... excellent parks, landscaped boulevards, great grocery stores, boutique shopping, and fresh little cafes, miles of wooded walking trails... all nestled in a little forest along Lake Houston. It's not BigCityHouston by any means, but it is quaint.convienient.progressive suburban living. I miss it. Mom's stay home here to raise their kids. They go to kindermusic down the street, Kid's-n-Action and Little Gym on day, library lapsits the next... We are minutes away from state of the art museums that I've come to know like the back of my hand. I miss the Astro's, Discovery Green, and Lupe Tortilla. I miss Old Town Spring... I miss Rice Village... I miss playing darts in Chris and Erica's garage while the boys sleep... and on and on and on.

To be honest, if I could snap my fingers and transplant our house in LA from there to here, I think I would.

But for now, we are in LA... With Marcus' job- we are considering a transfer back here in two years or so. We have a goal with where we want his career to take him- and coming back to Houston for a season is on that career path. Who knows?

The thing is I missed the culture and celebration of Louisiana. The customs, tradition, food, and family. But the actual living there... the in's and out's of daily life grocery shopping, errand running, and 'spare time' in Louisiana leaves me with a Kingwood size hole in my heart. I never realized how much more family oriented it is over here in Texas... and that's a hard thing to replace.

For now, I am enjoying every second being back. I'm trying NOT to go into labor. Which, by the way, I will be delivering in 6 weeks... or LESS! *Can't believe that... AND I have a girl's night reunion Wednesday night!!! That alone may send me into labor. I can't wait to sit around the table with my girls again...

Peace, love, and hotel ice.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Oh, March...

I've never given the month of March a second glance really. I wonder why? Because, I tell you what, I'm really loving this month. March may take over as my favorite Spring Month... The reigning champ has always been May.

Today was suppose to be my day to get our house back in shape: laundry, dusting, and floors... but my how plans can change when God hands you a perfectly PERFECT day! My darling friend called me up and basically said: 'hurry, lets get out of our houses and go to the zoo! if we don't go now, the dust bunnies could revolt!' She said that... basically. Or at least that's what I heard. So in a Super.mom.moment, we had two perfectly dressed, sunscreened, snacked, pottied, pacied bebies strapped safely in the car on our way to the zoo. *Yes, we pat ourselves on the back when things like that happen... positive reinforcement, you know.

The weather was beautiful and the stroll from exhibit to exhibit was just what we needed. Bebe.Miracle napped under the oaks as we walked and Beaux Jack was the master navigator, checking every map and sign that crossed our path. He took very good care of his girls... very big, that boy is. I loved walking hip to hip with my friend Carley. I really love spending time with her... I was thinking tonight that she may be my oldest non-related friend that I still see. We met on our very first day of Kindergarten. I can tell you exactly what she wore, too. She's a beautiful mother now... loving, tender, hopeful, and patient. And when we rub shoulders I get some of her goodness.

I'm glad we are both in the same state again, living minutes apart, both staying home in commitment to raise our families, watching our bebies grow. *I'm so grateful to be in this space* I hope it never gets old. I hope I always understand the incredible opportunities and blessings that are open to me as a Stay at Home Mom....

Here are a few quick candids that I snapped today:

bebe.Miracle insist on growing up on me... Isn't she perfect?

Sweetness puddles on the ground as he walks...

Isn't she beautiful? I had to take this picture... apparently she was contracting, too. Given my current state, I find hippos gorgeous. :/

The giraffes were particularly engaging today. So close you could touch them!

Missy Hollywood!!!

Oh! An Icy Treat!

Captivated, aren't you!!!??? She's beautiful.

And that's how we ZOO!

Before I sign off, I have to mention St.Patty's day. Ours went well... I'll have to post some of those sweet.shots soon. But for now, here is this pic taken by my iPhone. I was finishing dinner, running my bath water... "Hey, Momma! I got a suuuuprise fayou!" And Voila, the evidence on the floor: trail of clovers, shamrock drawers, and green and pink plaid shorts... Aaaah! A little leprechaun in my tub! Excellent....

****OH! And before I forget, I'm soooo going back to Houston this next week! Kingwood, here I come!!! I'm already making my list of things to do... but basically I'm calling out all my lovely girls: Moon, Blonda, Carmen, and Angel!!! Answer my emails and swear that we will have our date!!! Do.it.

So much more to share... soon. Yes.

Peace, love, and tiny.green.caterpillars!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Sunset View

We spend a good bit of time out at the LSU lakes. One of our favorite things to do in the evenings, when we are out running errands, is to pack up some snacks and bread and relax at the lake until sunset. It's great bribery for the boy, as we shop... The Hotness meets us there after work, and we just huddle on a blanket and let Beaux Jack run with the ducks...

It has been a nice weekly tradition...forces us to slooooow down and savor our time together.

I can't wait to have a bebe slung to me, or laid out on the blanket under my favorite cypress tree...

I certainly miss Kingwood in a hundred ways... but evenings like this remind me of why there is no place like South Louisiana.

Peace, love, and 'fevvers,'

*speaking of 'fevvers,' my new favorite thing James says is 'Crueva'... pronounced Cru-evvah... as in Cruella Deville- or Crueva Debill *as she's known round these parts. It's one of his favorite Disney movies. Can't we just name Jackson- Crueva Fevver Chauny Whitty? If we did, I bet his favorite color would be lellow...

Friday, March 6, 2009

Daily starts...

James often says the funniest things. Things that prove the point that clearly, he is his own person... body, soul, and spirit.

I've never been modest about my affection or admiration of this little human being God's given us. I feel like being humble is a good thing when it comes to many things in life. Money, cars, your station in life... But when it comes to your kids, I believe it's best to shout it from the roof.tops. Not to prove my own merit, but to acknowledge the greatness of God's handiwork... and to allow my son to grow up never doubting that he is special... really special.

Our morning routine is fairly simple. The alarm goes off as a steely blue light starts to filter through our bedroom windows. The ceiling is a mirage of glittery light cast from the reflection of ripples and waves from the lake outside the window. Marcus digs deeper into the covers and winds himself around me, no matter how 'bulky' my torso, heck, my whole body is these days. Like clockwork, about 30 seconds later, bebe.jax starts to flinch and kick to get his daddy to move his heavy arm from his belly.home. Relentlessly he will kick and squirm and kick until Marcus moves his arm away. Jackson twitches to re-adjust, and if he can find a comfy spot, he will fall back asleep. And so will his mother.

The snooze goes off, Marcus gets up for his shower and to get dressed. I'll hear him walk into the kitchen to prepare his coffee... with the kettle and french press. Lid of the kettle, water from the sink, click of the stove... and the promise of that shrill whistle soon. Sometimes, at this point, James will wake up and run in, wild-eyed, to greet his favorite man on earth. ***Even though I'm sprawled out in the bed, and clearly half asleep, I turn an ear to these secret conversations between the greatest men in my life. No matter what the night held, or what the day holds for his daddy, Marcus' voice always has the sweetest tenor for his little boy. Like James waking up is the greatest surprise of his day... and so far, maybe it is.

*I wonder sometimes if my voice has the same sweetness soaked through when I talk to him... His Daddy's voice always maintains this freshness that never dulls from routine. I love that about him... it's a daily gift we recieve, that he never knows he's giving.*

The story continues: James talks about his dreams in elaborate detail... crazy stories that prove endless imagination. He mentions what he wants to eat... and he asks Marcus lots of questions about work. Marcus listens and responds on queue, fully engaged and never distracted.

At this point, I drift back to sleep. Marcus comes in to kiss me goodbye, always smelling too good for me to be happy he's leaving.

Within minutes, or a half an hour, James comes in to get me up. He's always wide awake, and has planned most of his day. He generally comes in and immediately starts filling me in on his plans.

Today? He walked in, three inches from my nose. *always three inches from my nose, 'Hey, hey, hey... hey, momma? It's sunny out. Get up. Lets go outside and find a lucky clover.'

A lucky clover? Where did he learn about that? No telling... but I can't imagine a better way to start the day than in my robe outside, sitting in a patch of clover, sipping coffee, looking for a lucky clover with the smartest three.year.old on earth.

Peace, love, and clover patches.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

*31 Weeks*

I'm officially 31 weeks and look as if I've swallowed the moon. My stomach is quite a site! The bebe is moving so much and so strongly, that I feel he is trying his best to find a way out. This is a fun phase in the fact that the bebe can move in such big and deliberate ways... there is no mistaking that rogue foot stuck out to the side... or when he curls up tight like a ball leaving his bottom pushing out. The other day, he kicked his leg out and I could feel the heel, the pad of his foot and his big toe. It was pretty precious.

Sometimes in the evening I feel strong pressure and cramping in my back and such... I don't remember uncomfortable spells like that with James. Maybe it comes with second pregnancies...

I haven't heard from my glucose test. Yes, I've called. Three times. No I haven't heard back. I've even been to my dr. appt on Monday and still no word... You know what that means! I have a sneaky suspicion that my test may have been 'messed up.' When I went, the lab techs were really unsure about what to draw, what tubes to use, etc... How much you want to bet they used the wrong tubes or something? If so, fine. I'll keep my cool. BUT I won't retake the test. I'll retake the hour test... and if my numbers are still borderline then they should let me pass. If I clearly fail the thing, then I'll go back in. *head shaking in a matter.of.fact way.*

This week has humbled me some. A lot. What I mean is, I (I mean me and Hotness both) have been so sure and arrogant that we've got this second kid thing down pat. Meaning, even though this bebe has been 'cookin' for the same amount of time, in the same fashion as James Neal, we've really neglected the 'slow and steady' mentality of preparing for this bebe. To be honest, we forget that we are expecting most days. In our defense, when we were preggers with Beaux Jack, if we wanted to spend all weekend shopping, or preparing, or whatever- we would. We could! If we wanted to stay up late to get something done, we would. We could! But now that James is here, we are locked into our nightly (and daily) routine of our family schedule. Not saying James isn't flexible enough to break a routine, it's just harder. By the time we provide for him, we are left with little scraps of time here and there to tend to the other one... bebe.jax.

So basically I'm beginning to get a little frenzied. Yup. The nesting thing is on overdrive and I'm beginning to get pushy 'round these parts. I want things done! I want them done my way! So there! *hmmmph*

WHy so huffy now? I think it's half primal.nesting thing... and the other comes from stumbling upon a 'third trimester checklist' the other day. Holy.Cow! I'm behind... in a BIG BAD WAY: nursing bras, pediatricians, hospital bags, car seat installation, etc... and that's not even touching having the nursery ready and waiting.

I'm off this weekend from teaching Saturday... so the Hotness better tie his hat on! I want results!

You know how it is with momentum... once things get rolling, things just get done. I just feel that this time around, it's taking us longer to get moving. There is always something else that requires our immediate attention.

For clarity...
Things That ARE Done:
bassinet purchased and put together
nursery painted
Bouncer purchased and ready
homemade burpees and swaddles made
Welcome Home Bebe- class for toddlers at the hospital; registered- will attend this weekend...
Big Brother potty trained *BIG CHECK!

Things that AREN'T Done:
crib put together w/ bedding
nursery assembled
closet clean and stocked ready for bebe
big brother shirt purchased for James
coming home outfit purchased for Jackson
bottles/breast pump found and inventoried
first month clothes purchased, washed, ready
Mommy essentials for hospital and home: short robe, nursing pads, socks, slippers,
Heirloomy stuff for brand new bebe pictures: cocoon, quilt, etc
Portrait lens ordered...
nursing bras purchased/breast pads
car seat found, assembled, and installed
hospital bag packed

How cool would it be for this time next week for me to show you how much I've whittled that list down!? For me anyway... Basically, I want the last 4 weeks or so to be stress.free. I want to focus my time and attention on spending time with my Beaux Jack... his last few weeks as an only child. And I want to spend some carefree time with my two boys... our last few weeks of being a family of three.

So that's it for me... what's been on my mind!
I'll keep you posted!

Peace, love, and plans plans PLANS!