Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Inevitable...


It's nearly nine-thirty at night and things are quieting down here in the forest. We've had a fantastic day and now I'm stuck feeling really down... almost sad. The weather was beautiful today. I call it 'California weather.' You know the kind, clear blue skies, 70 degrees with a light breeze, no humidity... the magic kind of forecast that refreshes and energizes all God's creatures, least of all, ME! James woke up really pleasant... singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" in his crib. Marcus served me my coffee in bed and we took a morning trip to Lowes. I've been on the hunt for milkweed for my monarch bebies- and seeing how my eggs have nearly hatched, I can't sleep at night worrying that they will go hungry. We had 'bikuts' in the car, sipped our lattes and headed to the garden center. It was early enough that only little old ladies and men were out browsing. I love old people. I like how meticulously and neatly they dress... and how they take the time to smile at little boys who splash in the puddles between the rows... and how they always have the time to say something kind to the mother who is self consciously running after said little boy. There is something refreshing and comforting when you meet a little old lady waiting in line with her petunias and violets. Sometimes I wish she'd invite me over to look at old photos and drink an afternoon cup of coffee.


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We came home in time to plant our flat of annuals and put a few seeds in the ground. You know, we've been in our house nearly four years... and this year will probably be the prettiest and 'lowest.maintenance' year for us yet--- and we are leaving. And I'm not sure where we will end up... I can't see my new yard... or my new kitchen. All I can see is that I love my yard now. I love my kitchen here. We've worked so hard making the most of our little house and investment. It's full of love and effort... I love it here. I love how my house is full of light at just the right times of day. I love the colors... I love the comfort that hangs on the walls. It's been so much fun looking for a new house in Baton Rouge. The architecture there is really splendid. I mean beautiful in all the ways that I love. It's fun to imagine what could be for us- but at the same time, I'll be leaving the only 'home' Marcus and I have ever had together. I love Kingwood. I absolutely LOVE this little forest. I'm happy here, all tucked away and safe. I love the friends I've made- the ones who know me as I am today- and not how I have always been. God has something great in store for us... no doubt. But can I still be a bit melancholy? Not doubtful, just pensive?


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After looking four places for butterfly weed, I finally found a couple sorry specimens at Houston Garden Center. So, my monarchs will have food after all! I just wish that it was organic--- hopefully there aren't any pest or pesticides on them. Thanks to my darling, Erica, for riding with me and browsing on such a pretty day. I'll miss that.... calling her up last minute and asking her to come peruse the garden centers with me, or making a run to the museums, meeting up for snowballs, or coming over to swing while the boys play. I hope the Dugans will travel to BR as much as I envision them coming. I'll never meet another family quite like them...


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This afternoon we freed our bebe ladybugs. We had so much fun raising them. We will do it again one day. But for now, I have tiny hatching caterpillars to care for- and hopefully raise to butterflies. The backyard is looking so nice- I have sunflowers coming up from last year, along with the perennials from the years past. I did sow some basil even though I have bebe basils coming up from last year. It's so nice to see those familiar little sprouts year after year. *sigh* We finished our evening with a fantastic meal. Marcus grilled New York Strip steaks, sausage, and portebella mushrooms... I roasted bebe rosemary potatoes, sauteed spinach, green beans, and macaroni/cheese. For dessert? Smores of course!


We ate as the sun was going down... all three of us outside at the patio table with candles lit. James' new word for the day was 'romantic.' Because the whole thing was, in fact, almost romantic. It was past dark when we finished our perfect dinner. We retired on the big swing cuddled together in blankets. James loved it. He loved looking at the moon and listening to the night critters. He was so quiet and almost reverent about it all. It was *magical* sitting there in the shadows and moonlight... all of us.


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I don't think I'm ready to leave this place. Where else can I find a community with duck lakes, exemplary schools, horse stables, community parks, and organic garden nurseries? I love this place. I'm not ready to leave...




Tomorrow? Bluebonnets...
Peace. xo

2 comments:

Michelle Sanders said...

I'm sad for you and excited. All at the same time. I almost feel guilty that I get to have you closer and get to get my grubby little hands on you more. *tear* I understand. I do. I'll miss the forrest too and I don't even live there! I love you shug.

Janee said...

Thank you for your comment- you have no idea how much I needed that. That post has been a long time in the making- it's difficult to "not know" what's going on, but you're right- How wonderful it is to know He is looking out for my little girl.

I really hope when y'all move to BR that we are able to hang out some!!