I'm a Thinker

Yes, I'm a thinker. A worker bee. I analyse. It's all a part of my type-A personality. I'm creative and messy and free- but I'm very strong willed and hard.headed. I set my sights on something and I generally will make whatever efforts necessary to achieve that goal. I was raised this way. Work hard. Stop for nothing. Give 100% effort. Accept no help and expect nothing for free.

This is my nature.

In a zillion ways this is a good personality to have. I'm dreadfully optimistic. I have an excellent work ethic. I feel in control of my choices. Being a young girl going through life so far, I've settled for very little- and I feel this temperament of mine has saved me a lot of heart.ache... and made me very hopeful about where my life, God willing, will lead me.

but (*you guessed it)

when you are a thinker, your mind never shuts off. I'm constantly organizing, researching, analysing things in my head. Again, mostly good: clean house, healthy food, happy/healthy/well adjusted kid, healthy mind/body/spirit, clean underwear. BUT sometimes I can truly work myself into a tizzy.

And today I'm in that tizzy. Honestly, fit.to.be.tied. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. Which means in 35 days I will go through labor, delivery, and take on the responsibilities of caring for a newborn boy.child.

My body has crossed the line into defying all possible probability. I waddle, have this swayed back, my lower body does NOT match my upper body in any way. And with this amazing transformation called Third Trimester Pregnancy, comes aches from the inside and out. I'm in a constant state of physical aggravation. But I have an overachieving need to be on my feet and working around the house 12 hours a day. I'm my own worst enemy.

The good news is I am getting heaps and heaps done. The bad news is, I am always rationalizing why there is more and more to do. And when I do offer myself a bit of a break, my mind turns on itself and thinks, organizes, adds things to the list, reorganizes- until I'm just a precious.pregnant.mess.

This nesting phase is much like preparing for company: house clean, fresh linens turned down, flowers out, floors sparkling, background music on, candles lit, appetizers set, drinks prepared... only to add extra deodorant, lipstick, and brushed teeth just 5 minutes before the guest arrive. But the best part is that they do arrive. And once they do, it's time for me to get off my feet and enjoy them through all the preparation and hard work done ahead of time...

So Jackson, dear boy, we may not be ready today... or tomorrow... but in just a couple of weeks we will be set. Everything will be ready and waiting on you. We want you here with us so badly, that we've nearly killed ourselves making things just right for your arrival. And when you do get here, we promise to pull our feet up on the couch and hold you for hours. We plan on watching your every move and answering your every call. We want to show you all the ways you are perfect for us, and all the ways you are going to love being ours. Mostly because we are a rad.little.family and also because if effort ever counted for anything, we put forth loads of it to get you here.

***
So what does this all mean, you ask?

Most of the items listed in the earlier blog post have been nixed off the list. A final run to babies.r.us will take care of most of it. But the brain has revealed a whole new world left to organize and plan. For example, stocking the fridge and pantry for our two.month sit in. *Yes, we pretty much hibernate that first two months... the world is a germy place. Maybe we will waver this time a little... but knowing us, we won't stray far from the plan. Oh, and gearing up for visitors... telling them to wash their hands before holding the bebe, reminding them not to kiss the bebe in the face, and to not bringing small children around the bebe until we give the clear... you know, the really fun things that people love to blow.out.of.proportion. BUT I'll be stronger my second time around. We had a bebe. We are doing our best to protect him while his immune system is gearing up. So, unless you are the one trading nightime.zzzz's to keep the bebe.bugger happy- then you don't get to call the shots. Got me? Yes.

We go to MFM dr. Tuesday! We get to get our last glimpse at our boy.love. I think it's our last... I'd love to get a guess at his poundage. I expect a whopper. I do big bebies. It's my thing. So hopefully I'll get some idea on how big he is. After that, we'll knock out that bbrus run I mentioned... My goal is to have us bebe ready by the weekend. Where all we have to do is MAINTAIN the clean house until the stork arrives. Maintain? Ha... that will be a whole new beast.

Til then,
Peace, love, and back.rubs.
xo
lmkw