This weekend was a great one for me. I spent the entire time with my boys doing this and that- but mostly just being together, working together, cooking and eating together. I know all mothers think their children are the most special children on the planet. I'm certainly no exception- but my boy, he's absolutely lights up my life. He's growing up to be such an amazing little critter. He's two years and five months already! From the day he was born, I've watched him wake up to the world and take in all that he sees. Every single day I have the privilege to watch him learn or do something new. It's like as a mother, I have this keen 'time-lapse-sequence' visual ability that lets me mark each day that he changes. He's such an easy going, well adjusted kid- I can't help but enjoy his company. Marcus and I both do. He is our joy.
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Friday evening around 7pm, we drove a few minutes down the road to the most spectacular blueberry farm. A friend of mine told me about the place and said it sounded like something we'd dig. And we did. Dig it. James loves blueberries. He actually remembers picking them last years at my grandfather's. He wasn't even a year and a half then... but he remembered it just the same. When we turned down the gravel road that wound around to the farm entrance, I got the chills. It was beautiful... there was a bluffed lake on the property. We were greeted by the granddaughter of the man who built the farm. She gave us our buckets and told us to pick and eat as many as we wanted. The farm is organic- no pesticides are used on their bushes. So I didn't get nervous when James started eating his way from bush to bush. The owners made over Beaux and gave him his own bucket. Then, the real magic settled in. We walked through the grounds of the farm to the best berry picking section. Farms resonate with me. My mother is a passionate gardener who was raised by a gifted farmer- who was raised by a poor share-cropper from Mississippi. Those are my people. People who can work the soil and tend the crops. People whose hands can turn the soil and reveal the wonders of God's own hand and creation. People who, by nature, live abundantly off the simple pleasures sunlight, rain, and work can bring. Those are my people. They are like me, and I am like them. I find solitude when I think of where I come from. Walking down the rows with James and Marcus made me miss my grandparent's land... my grandparents. I miss the chickens and the buckets and the way the corn feed smelled when you opened the wooden bin. I miss the way the cool kernels felt and the way they sounded as I would run my fingers through them. I miss the way my grandfather breathed. The sound of the tune he would whistle between his teeth... his thread bare white undershirts that were as soft as silk.
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So my heart filled up again that afternoon. I've never seen a two year old more excited and determined to pick and eat as many berries as he did. It was amazing how patient he was, how gently he would pluck the berry from the bush, how he knew which berries were ripe enough for picking... I can only hope that he has the same soil in his heart as I do. The same roots in his soul that I do. When I think of moving back home to Baton Rouge, one thing that my heart needs is to garden again... with my mother... to sit on the bench and snap peas and complain how it's hotter this summer than last summer... and how I let the squash go one day too long on the vine. We will can jellies again... make my grandmother's sweet pickles again... and eat fresh wilted spinach salads with bacon drippings, hard boiled eggs, and crumbled bacon. Daddy will remind me how he doesn't like cucumbers.
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I wish God would have never taken my grandparents from me. I wish I would have never had to leave the days of sleeping in their daybed on the porch, gathering the eggs, and climbing the old oak tree in the back-forty. BUT God gave me James. He's named after my grandfather slash super hero himself! James is a good name. The best. Especially if you want to grow big and strong and kind and good. It's the kind of name that may call my son to search out who he is and where he came from. One day his name will lead him back to the great man whose heart mirrors his own. Until then, I will savor evenings like that...When my boys are outside with me, enjoying the wonder's of God's creation. When we have nothing better to do than to smile and remind each other how perfect we are to be together... here... picking blueberries at sunset.
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Marcus and James, I love you so much that just picking out the mere words to express it makes me dizzy and dumb. Who I am with the two of you is the very best part of me. Nothing brings me more joy or more complete and utter fulfillment than to be there working, learning, and loving with you. I know now that all those years as a child--- all those years of experience before I met the two of you, were to prepare my heart for the love and life I would lead with you both. Y'all are my inspiration... my abundance.
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Here we are...
*My heart is full to the brim*
Peace, xo.
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