*Yawn*

Goodness! Today was a long day... one of those days that just sort of never got off the ground. For whatever reason, everything I did seemed to run behind, fall short, or just plain annoy me. I suppose it's been a full three days since Marcus left. Which means I am all on my own when it comes to providing for James, taking care of the house, and getting myself to graduate college! And to be perfectly honest- it pisses me off just to read the last sentence. It sounds so neat and precisely explained. Between the letters and spaces there are details that you can't see like watering the flowers, grocery shopping, gassing up every other day, commuting about 3.5 hours a day to the university, homework- and the big kicker........ flippin' GROUP WORK. *curses* I need a tshirt that says 'doesn't work well with others.' I do work well with most people. But when you put me in a classroom setting where I am a STUDENT and not the teacher, I tend to be a loner. I'm really good at managing ownership over my own learning. NOT to mention that I take my time and opportunities to learn something new very VERY seriously. So, having to plug along with other people is just tedious to me. We have a pretty good group.... it's me- not them. I just prefer to 'do it myself.' BUT after tomorrow, I only have 4 more days of school...

So today I smiled less... fussed more... and ended up throwing a minor *pity party.* All of which effectively made me feel guilty. I'm a silly girl, and I'll do better tomorrow. However, I really have to say that I respect the heck out of single mothers. I don't know how they can do it day after day after day and not get eaten up from the inside out! I'm a good mom... a really pretty good mother. But so much of the 'good' comes from the gi-normous blessing that I can be a SAHM! I mean, having the opportunity to manage my home, life, and family in the same way you would a career just makes LIFE flow so much more smoothly. I'm happier. James is a happier kid. And Marcus has a cohesive life to come home to after a hard days work. I tell you what- besides the gift of salvation, health, and family- I can't imagine a bigger blessing than being in a partnered relationship where Marcus tends to making the living, and I tend to managing the home and family. *So, I'm glad I'm not too tired to overlook the HUGE blessing that is staring me right in the face- no matter if I'm dragging. AND I'm grateful to Marcus for making the decisions in his education/career to keep us afloat.

On to more interesting topics.

I'm in love. Seriously. Maybe obsessed. *I'm resisting the urge to get up RIGHT NOW and go into the kitchen.* Okay, I've fallen in love and I've come to realize that the Mango is the Rockstar of ALL fruit. (period... allow time for that bold and insightful position to take full effect.) Yes, I use to think that the Pineapple carried this title as the Rockstar of all fruit- but I was short.sighted. The Pineapple is clearly the drummer to the Mango's lead.Rockstar.super-nova.ism. One thing good about Texas is our super fresh. super plentiful. super diverse produce sections. I will always miss my HEB/Central Market... Mangoes are 99 cents a piece. James is in to concocting his own fruit salads- and nothing makes my heart sing like when he is with me in the kitchen cooking his little heart out. So, we bought three. Uno, dos, tres. I've nibbled on mangoes here and there- but never really understood or appreciated the thing! HOLY COW! They are so flippin delish... complex in flavors and I swear I can taste a little bit of pine tree in them- which is a good thing, naturally! It's the very same reason I love to drink gin.... mmmmm PINE TREES! *I digress* The texture is decadent and that sneaky mango.goodness lures you in to biting the remaining meat off the oddly shaped pit... totally primal and not at all lady.like. Such a trickster is the mango! How you peel the thing!? I'm sure I've butchered it! To see me peel it would make you believe I was a total dufus with a knife--- which couldn't be farther from the truth. I've got mad knife skilz... almost ninja like- 'cept more red.headed.freckle.like. AND I always have to run and grab floss after dining on mango. Fibrous darlings, they are. Ooooh, but they do dazzle me. I'm glad the bebe is out of milk. Because tomorrow, I'm going to buy too many mangoes for one person to consume. *Note to self--- papayas are cheap now too... buy one to test out and see who wins the battle for your heart. Yes, I think I shall! Papayas already have a leg up with the cluster of goopy black seeds in the center. Fun! Interesting! Esthetically pleasing! And that whole 'I've never, but what if!?' element to the Papaya... BUT Mangoes do drive me wild... plus House on Mango Street is nothing but pure literary delight.... and I am planning on naming my next kid Sandra Cisneros Bono Votteler Obama...

*****

So, tomorrow is my last day of the school week......... (Besides mango) Nothing can cure a tired heart better than going to the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences. Seriously. Thanks to Granna, it's like a second home. So I have butterflies, Claire, Lupe Tortilla, and MarcusHotness to look forward to on Friday.

*I'm getting lonely for adult conversation now that Marcus is gone... so email or call... so I can keep myself from relapsing and fantasising about fruit again.

Peace, xo.
lmkw