... ... ... ... ... ... I don't exactly know what to say. I mean, I've been in school since I was FIVE!!! I took exactly *two semesters* off... but the rest, I've been riding this wave of knowledge, day in and day out. So--- today, they've cut me off. I'm happy and sad all at the same time. More happy than sad. I'll prolly talk more about it later- but for now, I have a good breakfast to make for Master James... a lunch to put together... beds to make... and the same dadgum drugery of having to get the house clean in case someone calls to see it. But... today may be the biggest singular accomplishment I've made for myself in my life. *whew* I need to something big today in class. What though? Maybe I could streak. Totally in the nude. I don't know. But nudity should be involved. Hmmmm....
More on that laters...
Last night? Guess who came and laid on the couch with me... and just talked with me for hours? My moonbeam. My friend. My 'James.other.mother.' My SassE. My Erica!!!
*Thanks for watching James this week while I finished up school, E. You've encouraged me every step of the way... and James and I will never forget exactly what you mean to us. I've never met anyone like you...
Okay, I hope to post again soon... maybe tonight. Things are really rocking and rolling now. Little suprises are creeping up each day--- perhaps I need a share-a-thon post. Anywho, we plan on driving in to BR tomorrow for the weekend/week.
**Okay, James just came in and asked for 'french toast, please, momma.' I was really hoping I could get away with eggs, toast, and fruit today- since I'm a bit crunched for time........ but, looks like I've got to squeeze in time for french toast, too. I'm up for the challenge.
Wow, I can't believe this is my fiftieth post! I'm actually loving blogging over the past couple of weeks. I'll admit, I got a little frustrated with it a while back. It's like tossing a message in a bottle out to sea. You never know if anyone is even reading it.... I've heard that from a lot of bloggers. They say just keep it up and soon you'll see it pick up momentum. Not like I want tons of comments- but a few certainly make me feel 'connected' through my words. I've been getting lots of love, emails, and calls lately encouraging me to do three things: 1.) Hang in there with Marcus being gone. 2.) Hang in there through my daily summer class schedule so I can finally graduate. and 3.) To survive the Big Move.
***Thank you for being that person for me. Never underestimate the impact it makes to let a person know that you are thinking about them. I don't know what it is... but something about the thought combined with the action of telling the person makes something entirely MORE powerful than either the thinking part or the telling part in isolation. Does that makes sense? If you've ever wondered how you can change the world... start with that. Go ahead, make someone's day. It's really that simple. *Note to self: do it more.* Check. So, thanks again! And, Carmen, I owe you a nice long conversation on the phone... I nearly melted when you left me that *message love* the other day. It made me think of our conversations while you were in Paris... I loved having you there just a phone call away. *The life of a 'single mom' has kept me from calling you back. Between lattes, pedicures, shopping sprees, and extensive time in the gym and tanning bed... I've been left with little time for phone calls. *I'm being so sarcastic that I can't stand it* I actually listened to the phone message on speaker while I was swiffering in one hand, holding/consoling James on the other hip, 15 seconds from needing to flip the frozen chicken thawing in the microwave- in fear that it could 'nook' to rubber if left one second more, leaving a hasty.yet tasty meal spoiled! So, I owe you one nice phone call.
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Now, yes, MarcusHotness DID, in fact, travel home to 'visit' us this weekend. AND We made out like teenagers on the couch. And I mean LOTS of heavy petting. (!!!) No, actually, we didn't do anything of the sort. RATS! It felt so good to all three be together again- that we all got extremely drowsy! Saturday night I believe we all three fell asleep at 8pm and didn't wake up until 9am the following morning. It goes to show that neither of us can really sleep when we are so far apart. Don't you love that? The power of family... I've got a family! Gosh. Sometimes it just hits you! I love it when 'life' connects with my brain, and I feel a jolt of validation.
What did we do? Cupcakes, Granna's House aka- HMNS, Lupe Tortilla, aka- the greatest Mexican restaurant on the face of the planet, bubbles in the backyard, our favorite Toy Store Boutique... oh, and I bought new bed linens for our bed!
So, to keep this simple, here are a few pics from our weekend...
Sometimes, as you are going through your day, you walk in to things that make you take notice. Somebody does something that just makes you stop- and take note. For whatever reason, the person does something specific that makes you run in to 'happy' when you least expect it. Like a little surprise. Here is where I found happy in my day.
1.) I love going to school. Yall know that. I really like seeing my professors. They are truly interesting people. Inspiration puddles on the floors when I talk with them... it's like they have too much cool.ness for one person so it seeps from the hem of their capris on to the floor. Anywho, today, a favorite prof. came around the corner. Addressed me and another prof. Her hand on her hip, nearly out of breath, flipping hair to one side and said, "Jamie Lynn Spears just had her bebe this morning. In Mississippi." (long pause)
-that made me run in to happy.
2.) In the car with James today: "Go that way, Momma! GO THAT WAY!!!" *he's a backseat bully, lately. He lives to shout orders from his Britex thrown. Being the two year old ruler that he is... in addition to barking out orders to turn on the music, turn it up loud, turn it down soft, find a fast song, replay the same song, open the 'sky' *sunroof, etc.... he settles with one command and repeats it over and over and over and over and OVER again until road rage starts to fire up my legs and settles in my chest* Tired from my day and not in the mood to be bossed, I sighed and flippantly said, "James, you know... if you are going to order me around while driving... and you don't even know how to drive, you could at least use specific terms to boss me around. Geeze, kid." (....5 second pause....) "Turn left, momma. (Mc)Donald's on left up dere."
-I ran smack in to happy.
3.) Walking in to the guest bathroom, I found a pile of towels neatly folded on the counter. *AAAHHHHhhh, the mother in law opened my dryer and folded my towels.* I usually hate people doing stuff like that. I'm a 'do.it.myself.er'--- however sometimes if the timing is juuuuuuuust right, that can make me run in to happy.
4.) Tonight on the phone with MarcusHotness:
Hotness: "You could put up new photos on your blog for me."
Tired bride: *sigh* "Hmmhmm, I could. Do you even read my blog anyway?"
*note to reader: Marcus wasn't able to see his sweet video... blocked at work. RATS*
Hotness: (in a huff) "Of course I do!"
TB: "Okay. What did I write about last night?"
(long pause)
Hotness: (audibly uneasy) "Umm, you talked about your day."
TB: "Niiice, Marcus."
Hotness: "Lindsey, you know comprehension was never my strong suit."
TB: "This really has nothing to do with comprehension, honey."
Hotness: "You talked about... being tired... and me coming home tomorrow...(feeling the urgency to beef up his game, his voiced rose to a stressful tenor)... and you talked about... not.... being able............. to... do it.. with out your-big-strapping-man-around-helping-you-out-with-things." (It was like he remember the words to the song about a half a beat too late- but finished strong and was waiting for the audience applause)
TB: (giggle)..... (long pause)
TB: "Marcus I don't believe mentioning much about that--- I talked a good deal about something else totally unrelated to your brawn and muscles."
Hotness: "Well, I mean, I gave you a solid summary."
TB: "No, sugar. A summary contains details of the beginning, middle, and end of a story. That was no summary."
Hotness: (pause) "Oh, oh, OH... hold on... ummmm... it was... you said something about... you mentioned..... crap. Hold on, I've almost got it..... YEAH! Mangoes! You talked about mangoes! And how you have dirty thoughts about Mangoes!!!!!" *sounding audibly victorious
TB: (pfffft).........
Hotness: (smug and audibly high-fiving himself) "Uh huh. Silence is golden! Looks like your man shooooowed you. Defeated. Now put up new pics."
***I was hit square in the face with happy.
5.) Last but not least: *before said McDonalds car ride...*
Me: "James, what would you like for supper?"
Beaux: "Donalds! Donalds, Momma."
Me: (suprised... we don't eat much of that- so it's like... where'd you pick this up?) "I see. What would you like to eat from McDonalds?"
Beaux Jack: (hopping up and down ultra excited.like) "MIIIIIILK!!!!"
*I tripped right over happy.
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In honor of making through our first week, we celebrated with some milk from McDonalds... and a suppertime serenade. Enjoy!
Goodness! Today was a long day... one of those days that just sort of never got off the ground. For whatever reason, everything I did seemed to run behind, fall short, or just plain annoy me. I suppose it's been a full three days since Marcus left. Which means I am all on my own when it comes to providing for James, taking care of the house, and getting myself to graduate college! And to be perfectly honest- it pisses me off just to read the last sentence. It sounds so neat and precisely explained. Between the letters and spaces there are details that you can't see like watering the flowers, grocery shopping, gassing up every other day, commuting about 3.5 hours a day to the university, homework- and the big kicker........ flippin' GROUP WORK. *curses* I need a tshirt that says 'doesn't work well with others.' I do work well with most people. But when you put me in a classroom setting where I am a STUDENT and not the teacher, I tend to be a loner. I'm really good at managing ownership over my own learning. NOT to mention that I take my time and opportunities to learn something new very VERY seriously. So, having to plug along with other people is just tedious to me. We have a pretty good group.... it's me- not them. I just prefer to 'do it myself.' BUT after tomorrow, I only have 4 more days of school...
So today I smiled less... fussed more... and ended up throwing a minor *pity party.* All of which effectively made me feel guilty. I'm a silly girl, and I'll do better tomorrow. However, I really have to say that I respect the heck out of single mothers. I don't know how they can do it day after dayafter day and not get eaten up from the inside out! I'm a good mom... a really pretty good mother. But so much of the 'good' comes from the gi-normous blessing that I can be a SAHM! I mean, having the opportunity to manage my home, life, and family in the same way you would a career just makes LIFE flow so much more smoothly. I'm happier. James is a happier kid. And Marcus has a cohesive life to come home to after a hard days work. I tell you what- besides the gift of salvation, health, and family- I can't imagine a bigger blessing than being in a partnered relationship where Marcus tends to making the living, and I tend to managing the home and family. *So, I'm glad I'm not too tired to overlook the HUGE blessing that is staring me right in the face- no matter if I'm dragging. AND I'm grateful to Marcus for making the decisions in his education/career to keep us afloat.
On to more interesting topics.
I'm in love. Seriously. Maybe obsessed.*I'm resisting the urge to get up RIGHT NOW and go into the kitchen.* Okay, I've fallen in love and I've come to realize that the Mango is the Rockstar of ALL fruit. (period... allow time for that bold and insightful position to take full effect.) Yes, I use to think that the Pineapple carried this title as the Rockstar of all fruit- but I was short.sighted. The Pineapple is clearly the drummer to the Mango's lead.Rockstar.super-nova.ism. One thing good about Texas is our super fresh. super plentiful. super diverse produce sections. I will always miss my HEB/Central Market... Mangoes are 99 cents a piece. James is in to concocting his own fruit salads- and nothing makes my heart sing like when he is with me in the kitchen cooking his little heart out. So, we bought three. Uno, dos, tres. I've nibbled on mangoes here and there- but never really understood or appreciated the thing! HOLY COW! They are so flippin delish... complex in flavors and I swear I can taste a little bit of pine tree in them- which is a good thing, naturally! It's the very same reason I love to drink gin.... mmmmm PINE TREES! *I digress* The texture is decadent and that sneaky mango.goodness lures you in to biting the remaining meat off the oddly shaped pit... totally primal and not at all lady.like. Such a trickster is the mango! How you peel the thing!? I'm sure I've butchered it! To see me peel it would make you believe I was a total dufus with a knife--- which couldn't be farther from the truth. I've got mad knife skilz... almost ninja like- 'cept more red.headed.freckle.like. AND I always have to run and grab floss after dining on mango. Fibrous darlings, they are. Ooooh, but they do dazzle me. I'm glad the bebe is out of milk. Because tomorrow, I'm going to buy too many mangoes for one person to consume. *Note to self--- papayas are cheap now too... buy one to test out and see who wins the battle for your heart. Yes, I think I shall! Papayas already have a leg up with the cluster of goopy black seeds in the center. Fun! Interesting! Esthetically pleasing! And that whole 'I've never, but what if!?' element to the Papaya... BUT Mangoes do drive me wild... plus House on Mango Street is nothing but pure literary delight.... and I am planning on naming my next kid Sandra Cisneros Bono Votteler Obama...
*****
So, tomorrow is my last day of the school week......... (Besides mango) Nothing can cure a tired heart better than going to the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences. Seriously. Thanks to Granna, it's like a second home. So I have butterflies, Claire, Lupe Tortilla, and MarcusHotness to look forward to on Friday.
*I'm getting lonely for adult conversation now that Marcus is gone... so email or call... so I can keep myself from relapsing and fantasising about fruit again.
Marcus isn't able to access our family photosite while he is gone. RATS! So, I've decided to hijack my blog for a while to send a little Texas sized loving his way. *drum roll*
So, we made it through Marcus' first day. Yes, I said 'we' made it. When you have a family, things really become *ahem* a family effort. Marcus got to Exxon and was glad to find his office ready and waiting for him. His new buddies even through in some TIGER touches to make him feel at home. And he does. Feel at home. He's so well prepared for this position... and there is a lot of opportunity waiting for him. Guess where he went for lunch? The Great Wall. Yeah, I know. A little bit of the home we love jumped up and said--- 'See! I'm still here, you still love me, and you'll be happy again here.' After work he drove to the new house to scope it out more... Good news. He still likes it. And he feels sure I will still love it, too. Actually, what he said was: "The grass is really looking good." Whaaaa? Marcus is obsessed with lawns. It's borderline creepy. Perhaps a good comparison is my over.the.top affection for dish towels. *All of this to say, things are going nicely.
As for the relo surprises. Basically the short version is that we had a HUGE scare that we may have to sell our house at a loss because of the terrible housing market/crisis that's going on. Houston's feeling it pretty bad. BUT, after a week of agonizing... we found out that regardless the market- we will get our equity out of the house. Yippee! 'Cause it would really stink if we had to leave our beautiful home here and get an apartment in Baton Rouge while we recouped the money lost. So, everything is sunny.
I've been reading a couple of special books... I wanted to post them as evidence of my 'musings' but... *yawn* I'm beat! Tomorrow? Yes. For now, I leave you with a slew of pics that I've taken of my Beaux... James Neal. With Daddy being gone, we have lots of snuggle time. He's a momma's boy if there ever was one. AND it's been almost 2.5 years and I still can't get enough of him.
***** I played with adding noise into these images. I don't have Photoshop- so all of my editing is done by hand through a limited processor..... I'm learning the hard way which is great- and I have ultimate control over my images... I'd LOVE to get feedback whether you like the 'grain' in these pics or not. Seriously. I need to get on Flickr so I can get more photog feedback. Okay, thanks in advance. *****
We love you Marcus... with all we got! "To the world may be just one person, but to one person may be the world." -remember our quote? There are *two people* in this world whose sun rises and sets in your arms. We hope you love your pics and vid. Knock em dead, stud.muffin. xo
*Thanks to you all for the kind messages of encouragement! Sooo needed it.
Wells... I've got a lot to say! First off, it's nearly 2am and I still have heaps of homework to do. Second of all, I am officially a single-mother-hybrid. 'Hybrid' makes me think of cars- which leads to gas- which leads to money- which leads to M's new job. And, that's a good thing, because that's where I am headed. MarcusHotness' new job. Yes. He starts it tomorrow. I mean, today.He starts it today. 8am. He pulled in to the Baton Rouge Hilton late tonight to start his new career with ExxonMobile. *crazy* We both never dreamed five years ago when he started working after graduation, that his decisions would lead him to a position like this. He went from being a marketing major/jock to an Exxon Cost Engineer. Nuts! I mean, blessings. I can't tell you how proud I am of him. Every step along the way he has our best in mind. He made aggressive career decisions...decisions that took sheer guts... lot of people didn't support or encourage the decisions we made... but here we are: Heading back home, about to close on a spectacular new home, me graduating... being able to expand our family without the worries of me needing to go to work right away. God is great. And I believe with all of my heart that He has a plan for us. I know that's easy to say when things are going our way... but we've struggled, we've grieved, and we've worked really hard... but we never doubted that all the heartache and unanswered prayers would work together for His good and glory.
We spent some time lounging at the pool... Oh, James. He loves the water.
We spent this weekend together. I made many of Marcus' favorite Louisiana dishes... we went to an Astros game with our best friends (in.cred.ible seats about three arms lengths grabs away from my *Lance Berkman*)... we laid out by the pool and swam... we cuddled up to movie nights... and we ate some delish seafood.
Geaux 'Stros! Marcus will drive home Friday night and stay the weekends with us here in Texas. I officially have 9 more days of school left! I can't believe it. After I finish, I will spend the next two weeks between here and LA. One day at a time. BUT the fact remains that we are officially on the move! In a matter of weeks, we will be starting a new little adventure. I can't wait!
*Father's Day Love* Marcus, hands down, you are the best father this side of the Pecos. The stuff you do for James... the endless patience... the time you invest in him every single day... He has such a bright future ahead of him because of YOU. Not only does your love create options for a bright future, but the way you work- the way you love-your generosity -your Faith... everyday you teach him how to become a great man. You couldn't gift me with anything more precious in the world. We love you.
Keep us in your prayers as we transition. Especially with all this driving we will be doing.... pray for safe travels.
I'll do better with the blogging. I really do have lots to say--- surprises, too. Sort of. Okay- back to the heaps of homework.
So today was nice... for the rest of this week only, Marcus has been taking James Neal to his parent's house for the day. He picks him up on his way home from work. All of this to let me attend my summer course in Huntsville. The class which doesn't start until 1pm... that means, this past week and this week is enough time for me to establish some bad habits. Like, I don't know... sleeping in, bathing by myself without James hijacking my tub time, getting dressed at a leisurely pace. Gosh, James is always with me. I've forgotten how nice it is to just be one person--- taking care of ONE person. BUT, sure enough, when I crank the car and don't have my darling to sing with or talk to... I feel totally out of place. He's just a fun kid... and we enjoy being together.
As I was spending 57 bucks on gas *for the second time in three days,* I saw a peach farmer set up down the farm road. I love peaches... love them. I think if I were a fruit, I'd be a peach or lemon... *I digress.* My heart grins when I see an old farmer sitting in his folding chair with his table strewn with baskets of yummies. The scene is as pretty as the produce itself. Another day passes when I miss my grandfather with *all* my heart. I went over, snapped this pic, and walked away with 1/4 peck of juicy peaches. Corn flakes with sugar spooned over the top, peaches, juicy fruit gum... I've gotten to the age now that memories like these make me ache to be little again.
I'm loving my summer class. My professor is... in a word, inspiring. I feel such a kinship to this lady. If my long journey of education has taught me anything- it has been the benefit of simply exposing myself to really tremendous, powerful, and insightful women. They are so smart and wise- and I've been able to spend my days for last 7 years in their company, both professionally and personally. I'm afraid I could become bored when I leave the university to resume my full time life as a SAHM mother. My brain needs these women/men to make me THINK! Anywho, my professor slipped this novel my way. The Quilt by Gary Paulson. I love reading rich adolescent literature now that I am an adult--- when I was young my teachers frowned on anything that wasn't a 'classic.' So, I have an appetite to catch up! I've always loved the hard stuff. Now I see the great value in the contemporary writers of our day... Anywho, I'm falling in love with Paulson's prose and imagery. Plus, I'm feeling nostalgic about my grandparents. Summer has a way of doing that. So, this is my read for now.
As I was driving home from Huntsvegas, I made a split decision to spend the next hour or so of 'free' time picking blueberries at the farm I mentioned before. Now, let me set the stage here: I was dressed for school- which most of you know my style... skirt, heels, belt, necklace, tank, and jacket. When I walked up and grabbed my bucket at the farm, I was teased... "No, I'm not trying to impress the blueberry bushes!" I just wanted some relaxing 'me' time... and since I enjoy the summer heat and being outside every chance I get- it made sense to pick for a while, heels or not. Besides, when do I NOT where heels!? Plus, James and Marcus would be so pleased with their sweet surprise. So... I picked, prayed, reflected, and dreamed. I'm a regular at the farm now. I like that. My session was cut short because I wanted to be back to watch my favorite baseball team make it to Omaha. Here's a shot of my beauties... I picked many more.
I'm just wrapping up our weekend fun. The boys are fast asleep and I'm planning my day tomorrow. This will be Marcus' last full week with us here in Kingwood before leaving us to start his new position at ExxonMobil in Baton Rouge. (!!!) We aren't looking forward to saying good by five days at a time... but we all are giddy with excitement with our new opportunity in Baton Rouge.
AND what does our Livable Forest do this weekend to help us start our four week good bye process!?!?! *huff* I love this place. There is no doubt that I will always miss Kingwood. Saturday we drove to the new sushi joint we love in the town square... and we came upon a music festival in our Town Center. Our town center is a beautiful little square with cool shops and boutiques that surround a big grassy knoll. There was a great band set up... people were on blankets in the grass... a little wine vendor set up there to the side... There was a space walk for the kids, pony rides, and a tiny little petting zoo under the trees. The whole thing was small, quaint, and perfect. So we enjoyed the festivities then ate a whole lotta sushi! It's cute to see James eat his California rolls and edimame... with chopsticks no less! I will miss Kingwood's nice amenities... There is so much that Texas has that Baton Rouge lacks. But, hopefully LA will still my heart again. We'll see.
Then today, my Erica, Chris, and Tater came over for a good backyard romp. We grilled burgers, mushrooms, corn on the cob... James made a delish fruit salad for us... watermelon, bubbles, swimming... the whole nine. I love my friends. Having our families together and letting the boys play is more natural than anything else I've done. I'll never get use to not having them around. Our families are so well bonded... the husbands totally enjoy each other's company... Erica and I are like sisters... and the boys- well, the boys are perfect together. The good news is that the Dugans are ready to travel! Erica is really good about loading Tater up and heading out places- so when Chris is out of town, they will be heading East to stay with us. So excited about all LA goodness to treat them to!
*Here are a few pics from last weekend. The girls down the street set up a lemonade stand, and James support the local business by buying a cup and tipping well. Then he walked over some blueberry and lemon scones he had helped me make to Pat... his favorite neighbor.
*Oh, I'll fill you in on the school/house particulars soon!
Wells... this is the beginning of the end for me as a college student. Yup. Today was my first day in my summer course. It's a good end to this little tryst I've had with school- or should I say seven year itch? One of my favorite professors is teaching me my final course. I believe the count after today is 18 classroom days until I have the credits to graduate in August. ;) So here I am, on the cusp of accomplishing something I've worked really hard for. I want to talk about the kind of drive, determination, heart-break, and sheer grit it took to get me here- but it's still hits 'too close for comfort' for me now. Maybe when I finally reach the end and feel that restorative relief I've been praying for, I'll be able to express that stuff. For now, let's just look forward the next 18 days.
Marcus documented this occasion. Where is Lindsey on the first day of graduation countdown 08? In her bed of course, doing homework. (and loving it) Being the nut.job that I am, I was actually excited about starting my new course today. I love school. Everything about it. The people, the supplies, the books, the desks, the new faces... I love the assignments, the test, the grades, the challenge. I love being a student. I love being a teacher, too- but I've learned that a teacher is a student. Always. Period. No way around it. So, here I am excited about reaching the end of this long and tedious goal of mine- understanding that it's not really an end at all. I have plans for more. A masters... ultimately my doctorate. Why? Not because of the career choices it would ultimately bring for me, but because I love learning. I love who I am when I learn. I love the way it feels to dig and construct and make sense of things. I love reaching within myself to pull up something old that I know, and the magic that happens when I link it to something new that I hope to learn. The process, it thrills me.
Here I am with the last two textbooks that I will need... Kinda special.
*Oh, did I mention back to school wardrobe in the things I love about school? ;) Wells, I'll have to talk about that tomorrow. Marcus says summer semesters count, too. So, what did I do to commemorate my big day? Ann Taylor, of course!
