You GOT to be kidding me...

I'm still reeling a bit from my morning. This post should be about the weekend and finally sharing the graduation pics that I have so far- minus Momma's. BUT I can't pretend that my morning hasn't been a literal mess. I'm not sure who I should kill--- MarcusHotness or Bebe James... both are safe in their prospective places right now. James confined to his bedroom and Marcus is at work with his cell phone apparently off. BUT let me share with you what happened.

James woke up when MarcusNotSoHotness was getting ready for work- the usual. James was a bit ornery, but whatevs. I got up to get his 'station' ready: no-spill sippy with milk, slice of french toast, 'blanket', chair, and his favorite morning show on the tv in the den. Generally, the plan is to sit in the chair and munch on his pre-breakfast goodies and watch tv. It gives me time to get up, bathroom, dressed- you know, morning stuff. My door is open, there is a direct line of sight between me and the boy in the den... probably 25 feet or so away. It works like a charm EVERY time. Most of the time. This is where it gets dicey....

I woke up after his customary 40 minutes of tv time. Go into the den.... he had taken the loaf of bread that Marcus had bought last night at the grocery- but refused to put away in the pantry (naturally) that was sitting on the island in the kitchen... with the box of saltine crackers (he had also bought but refused to put away- even though I asked him like 3 times)! Anywho... James tore in to them like a wild dog and made the BIGGEST mess possible on our new rug and leather coaches. To top it all off, MarcusNotSoHotness decided to NOT give James a non-drip sippy for the den--- rather a freakin' glass of water out of my French la rochere glass........ so the mess was wet. OR at least some of it.

AND YES... IT WAS BEFORE MY COFFEE... which could be the very worst part of it. I'm rational once I have my coffee... I freaked out and was very loud at James. I drug a trashcan out and made him clean it all up, except the ground in crumbs/mash... which I vacuumed up later after banishing him to his room for the rest of his natural life. Here I sit, still stewing, sipping on my coffee.

Which brings me to my next point. Since James was a day old- literally, I could see him growing and changing day by day. Seriously. I could chart his 'growth' both mentally and physically week by week. It's crazy how well mothers know their children. I bet my mom can still see my changes week for week. Crazy. It's important for me to observe James and where he is in his life- bc Marcus and I always want to provide what he needs from us: and what I'm really talking about here is discipline. Eventually, the bulk of our decisions may shift to other aspects of his life- but for the last 2.5 years, it's been more about how to make him a kind, loving, happy kid who respects himself, others, and basic boundaries in life. Which all boils down to consistency and discipline.

We are hard on James. Not physically--- what I mean is we have high expectations of him. As long as his needs are met (napped, fed, clean, exercised) we believe that he should be a happy/well behaved kid. So the behavior that I can see change from week to week is that little 'fringe' part of him that he tries out outside of his basic needs. I take this part of mothering very seriously. I want people to love my kid like I do--- but that's impossible. So, the best way to keep him safe and have people respond in a positive way to my sweet son, is to raise him to be kind, respectful, pleasant, and fun to be around. I don't want James to be that kid who people can't stand to be around. I don't want people to cringe when they see us strolling in- bc my son can't behave or be pleasant. So, we observe a schedule at our house that allows James to have his needs met... and when he's rested and fed, we venture out with him so he can learn how to be a part of Life. AND he can eat at a restaurant. He can be a part of conversation. He can be nice to others. He does have good manners. He does listen to us when we tell him to do something. He doesn't whine. He doesn't talk back. I'm proud of this... mostly because it's taken back breaking consistency on Marcus and my part. If we say we are going to do something... and he tests us... we have to follow through. We don't make idle threats. We mean what we say. The first time. WE HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT. Every time. All the time. It's a pain... but it works.

This past week he's been reverting back to more bebe-ish behavior. Like this morning, James knew very good and well that he is not allowed to reach for things on the counter (lest he pull something hot down on himself), and he is NOT to make a mess with food (mastered that at least 6 months ago)--- And that's not to mention him knowing what 'good choices and bad choices' are... he's getting better at understanding the cause and effect of choices. Bottom line: HE KNEW THAT WHAT HE DID WASN'T GOING TO BE GOOD... but he did it anyway. That was a big thing- but this past week, he's done lots of other little things that lead to the same conclusion that he is having some 'growing pains.' He'll be three soon, and we are treating him a bit more like a three year old- rather than a two year old. Again, we have high expectations... and every chance he gets, he usually rises to meet them. We are all happy. He's smart, respectful, has great communication, and understands boundaries... and he feels happy, safe and successful.

Crap. I know this phase will pass- like they all do, and he'll be glad to 'grow up' a bit--- but this whole Parent/Consistent Discipline thing certainly requires stamina, a level head, and exhausting consistency. His big boy bed comes on Wednesday, and his sheets are adorable... and he asks for his bed every single day for over a month now... and we've been talking about his big boy room and what it means to be a big boy. BUT as of Saturday, he said, "I want to be little." Poor guy. He totally knows what's going on.

We CAN do this... but it's always better AFTER I have my coffee.

Carmen, is Andrew doing any of this wanting to be a bebe again?

*Here's hoping for a great week. I know that the first 45 minutes of my new week won't set the tone for the whole thing... See? I've had my coffee. Everything comes up roses after caffeine.

Now, a few graduation pics for those of you who made it through my rant.

*****





On our way to Texas...

Kyle... a great guy, a great teacher... *inspiration*

Dr. Votteler... the greatest teacher, mentor, and friend. She changed my life. *more inspiration* ;)




*Off for another cup...


Say something nice to me... I'm feeling a bit pitiful.

Peace, xo.
lmkw